Throughout my years of counseling work in experienced Anomalous Trauma, one of the most profound romantic relationship issues is the one in which one or both partners believe they found their Soul Mate or Twin Flame “other half” and lost it. Or they realized through serious chaos, drama and even narcissistic abuse, it ended in total diasaster. Even this is an understatement of the profundity of this type of connecton because of the depths of trauma and spiritual components, which cannot be denied.
My first book delved into the “alien love bite” orchestrated love obsession, and its characteristic dynamic phases which are detailed in The Love Bite: Alien Interference in Human Love Relationships. (Elogos& HHC Press, 2000) This experience may also hold deeply felt spiritual aspects like unto a divine twin flame, but its causes as being “alien/ET and milab” manipulated is what distinguishes its nature.
Secondly, in the Dark Side of Cupid (Keyhole Press, 2012), as many of my readers know, the love drama is similar in quality, where a “third party entity” underlying the interference, orchestration or manipulation is not necessarily perceived as an ET or alien. Also, the persons in the dyad may not have the commonality of the “alien abduction, milab or MK Ultra” history. Its quality is of energy vampirism, emotional and spiritual injury and extra ordinary dramas. This has also been understood as having dynamics of co-dependency and narcissistic abuse, but its significant trauma driver may have added supernatural causes and effects, such as third party entities and demons in many cases. Nonetheless, these relationship patterns are almost always preceded by some form of early trauma.
This brings me to a point I want to make about the importance of understanding Complex Trauma, shame and relationship issues that are present when anyone has endured long term trauma. In most cases Complex Trauma is formed in early childhood and occurs contintually as a pattern in life. Family of origin abuse is the foundation of this kind of CPTSD, but many people in my practice have added traumas of spiritual abuse, mind control, alien or ET abduction (if malevolent, manipulative types of beings involved), MK Ultra or Cult Abuse.
Cult Abuse may be a factor in some of these shared fantasy Twin Flame ideologies, having their origin in a false premise that we all must have soul mate or divine spiritual other-half. I believe the unrequited love obsessions and unhealed trauma wounds serve to feed a cult egregore or messiah like cult leader. (See: The Messiah, the Australian man who says he’s Jesus and his followers:
I am not here to say there is no such thing as a Twin Flame, but this belief has been infected and hijacked by some Cult narratives which cause greater harm than good. It can also be a red flag of spiritual ensnarement, taking advantage of those who have underlying unhealed Complex Trauma, and this is what causes more spiritual and emotional harm. What I’m saying is that there are spiritual and emotional predators who can take unfair advantage of those who may believe they have connected with their Twin Flame, but due to the hidden trauma, psychological and spiritual blindness of unhealed injuries, they can be significantly hurt in this type of love relationship.
Many survivors of the “False Twin Flame” love obsession have spoken out on its cultishness, such as Julia Lara in “The Twin Flame Cult Ideology”.
She describes how the narcissistic abuse and co-dependency patterns are justified and even exonerated within a New Agey spiritual narrative— its effects being disasterous to ones spiritual and psychological well-being if true trauma recovery is not heeded.
Also see: Aslo see: The Twin Flame Cult: A Cult within a Cult by Lara Julia
Some have reported catalyzed “kundalini awakenings” during this process, where it seemed to be done energetically via astral abductions. A double whammy in terms of energy vampirism and in actuality, it is likely some misdirected spiritual guru or predator with narcissistic personality disorder, compelled by an “attached entity”. These types of entities have been thoroughly described in much of my earlier works, where observation of an entity is behind or “hosting” someone who displays narcissstic personality traits. Past life memories may also occur, and we may need to question this. I only mention this because of a few case histories where the person was an MK Ultra milab who knew some memories of their “love bite set-ups” were fake downloaded memories with some form of advanced alien or human technology. Usually those on the reporting end of a false twin flame experience are the co-dependent ones within the spectrum of complex trauma relating styles. And we who have been on the “empath or co dependent end” of such a love bonding, have to recognize our own contributions to this relationship pattern.
The unhealed wounds may propel one to find spiritual bypassing teachings and cults, which are often behind such twin flame machinations and can mimic a truly spiritual, love-melding, transcendental experience. The counterfeits will have alot of trauma drama and energy vampirism effects. Even so, for those who have the purity of intention for healing, awareness and love of truth, will eventually gain a fuller understanding of their own selves, others and the meaning of life. Each person has their own unique path of self-discovery and some of the harshest traumas can also be our greatest teachers. Unrecognized traumas, spiritual deception or continued abuse will deter ones recovery process, unless both persons in a relationship engage in authentic healing work. This means at some point one must have the humility and purity of intention to deepen our awareness, allowing the release of trapped emotions and false beliefs that are characteristic of complex trauma. For example, a shame based belief about oneself as being unworthy of love is at the core of ones identity.
The transformation and resiliency of complex trauma is not a quick, silver-bullet, magical process. It is a lifestyle choice that requires relationship safety, recognition of unhealthy behaviors and courageous positive change. Because so many of our wounds go back to deep shame, we can hit a wall during a false Twin Flame experience, where we then become ensnared into over identification with ones spiritual “mission” as a divine feminine or masculine archetype on a grand stage. This is often where some Cult leaders take advantage of others in their grandiose missions, however innocent they may seem. This is something to watch for, because in true recovery, humility and acceptance of ones own contribution to these patterns is recognized and transformed into wisdom, love and forgiveness. This takes time for most of us. As Canadian, Addiction and Recovery Counselor Tim Fletcher says, “Recovery is not a race, but a marathon.” We must be willing to do this for the long haul for real, authentic change.
Another of the early pitfalls mentioned in the recovery process is the tendency to overdisclose ones excitement of newly discovered insights on personal growth, but to persons who are not safe. (Like on Social media, etc) This can prematurely sabotage the healing process, so it is very important to find safe people, support groups and therapeutic practices while delving deeper into ones recovery from complex trauma.
I found Tim Fletcher,’s instructional video talks to be exceptionally well versed on Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Addiction and Recovery. He also incorporates a Christian perspective in some latter parts of the presentation which bring powerful historical examples of complex trauma. However, it’s not necessary to hold a Biblical perspective to understand and recover from Complex Trauma.
Tim Fletcher on Shame and Complex Trauma
1/7 : What is shame?
2/7: Shame and Complex Trauma: Unhealthy Solutions
3/7: Unhealthy Solutions:
4/7: Shame and Complex Trauma: Hooks:
5/7: The Shame Test:
6/7: Healing from Shame
7/7: Healing (Shame and Complex Trauma)
In the trauma recovery of the “false twin flame” experience, counselors often do not recognize the spiritual, astral and kundalini energy components and only offer psychological solutions. Or conversely, the tendency is to go the other direction for spiritual or religious only solutions and explanations. Authentic healing and resiliency from trauma must examine and incorporate all factors involved.
It is my opinion that if we really wish to have clarity, enlightened realizations, and spiritual discernment, we must continually work on healing our own trauma wounds. Deeper insight and Love can only happen with true understanding of our own self-worth, letting go of false beliefs caused by trauma.