Recovery From Narcissistic Abuse and Cultivating Mutually Respectful, Loving Relationships

* Note: My apologies fro those of you who may have received this post mutiple times. This error will be looked into asap.

Narcissistic abuse is an increasingly widespread issue these days, especially for those who have endured any kind of emotional abuse in their childhood family of origin. This is common for abductees, milabs, ritual abuse survivors, MK Ultra victims and those who have strong family ties to the occult and military-industrial-complex careers. As many of my readers know, narcissistic abuse is part of the phenomenon of “the dark side of Cupid” relationships, where, in addition to the basic traits of narcissism, the super manipulated partner was perceived in some way to host a paranormal type of “entity”, which I believe actually drives much of the energy vampirism behaviors well known in these kinds of horridly abusive and shocking relationships.

Recovering from the trauma of these kinds of relationships requires a comprehensive approach, and unless one truly understands the inner dynamics of narcissism as a full-blown personality disorder, and the addictive quality of obsession that often accompanies such relationships, a survivor may not be able to heal as quickly. It can literally be a soul destroying experience.

What I have come to understand, is that the pattern in becoming a target of these types of abusers, is also rooted in ones own conditioning, core shame issues and deep seated feelings of unworthiness that can occur with histories of abuse. But, there are instances in which a healthy, normal kind of person such as a successful career woman, who can get targeted by these types of predators, leaving them bewildered and absolutely shocked at how awful and traumatized they could feel. One professional therapist and famous author I corresponded with told me in confidence that when she had such a “dark side of Cupid” relationship with a man like this, the trauma and emotional devastation was worse than a brutal rape she experienced many years earlier in her life.

Narcissists and the types of partners described in much of the NARC Abuse literature, fit the profile of personality disordered people, often with psychopathic traits. One has to remember that these persons work by deception and will manipulate accordingly, without conscience or empathy in order to extract “energy” or narcissistic supply from their partner– just for the sake of them feeling alive and getting attention to feed the false sense of self. Their false sense of identity is like an outer shell personality that changes to whatever traits are necessary in order to extract energy. What is underneath is often a deeply shattered, shamed and self-loathing core, that is buried. It feels like nothing is there literally, like a black hole whose only goal is to suck you dry. What I believe happens in many of these narcissists lives, is that once they abandon their true core self, they are ripe for a type of demonic or complete archontic mind parasite takeover. This is when the more lethal types of psychopaths start emerging. I believe it is many of these types of narcissists who run some of the most powerful, global military-industrial-complex and banking corporations.

Unless you have had a personal relationship with such a non-human-pretending-to-be human person, you really cannot understand the needed strategies for healing, recovery and freedom from their damage. Personally and collectively.

Without being overly sided with “victimology” ideology, I do believe that both perpetrator and victims work together, even if it is unconscious on the victim’s part. The paradoxical thing about perpetrators, victims and narcissistic abuse is the tendency towards the trauma-bonding “Stockholme Syndrome” that takes hold of the victim who has had longstanding abuse and conditioning by such perpetrators in their lives. We see this alot in cult abuse and even within the alien abduction and contact experiences.

Step this up a few notches to what we now globally seem to “normalize” with our lives in this Matrix of global control. I think most of the worlds population is in a mesmer of Stockholm Syndrome, having been exhaustively distracted, overworked or numbed out to such an extent that they no longer believe they have the power to change their lives, in the face of the global “powers that be” who are essentially running the show.

I believe one way to create a solution for this is to do it one individual and relationship at a time. We must have the self-respect to heal, get into “recovery” and say NO to the narcissists who entitle themselves to our energy and our attention. But the healing and recovery process is specifically tailored to those who are recovering from narcissistic abuse, not just simple “co-dependecy issues” or other more benign issues people may want to heal from.

These articles are an excellent starter for anyone who is still on the path of healing from narcissistic abuse. They are written by Melanie Tonia Evans and her main web site is:

http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/index.htm

Is He or She Really A Narcissist? Laying Boundaries and Accountability

 

Excerpt: “In this article I am going to show you how you can use the most powerful tool in your arsenal – boundaries to find out if this person is capable of taking responsibility and being accountable for their actions without risking another experience that could cost you your soul, mental well-being and even life.

There is nothing worse than being set upon maliciously by someone you believed you could trust, someone you love, and someone you thought loved you and had your best interests at heart.”

http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/is-he-or-she-really-a-narcissist-laying-boundaries-and-accountability/

First must realize: There is No Closure with Narcissists

Excerpt: “When we end a relationship with a narcissist – it can be a terrible and painful experience to realise there is no closure.

There is no “I’m sorry, I treated you terribly”, there is the absence of “I realise that if I had done things differently we could have worked”, or “The way I treated you was disgraceful”. Often, horrifically, there is no explanation for the cruel ability to abuse and manipulate you, and then discard, abandon and move on as if you never existed.

Most narcissistic abuse sufferers struggle terribly with this – and experience the anguished feelings of “What did I REALLY mean to him or her?”

These feelings of non-closure can create a powerful hook, whereby you feel like…

Leaving The Narcissist With Your Emotions Intact

Excerpt: “It’s important that you know what to do in order to empower yourself before leaving a narcissist, in order to assist the process of disconnecting.

Much of this preparation needs to occur emotionally.

The emotional state you are in when you leave a narcissist is a great indicator of how well you can recover, and how long your recovery will take.

‘Aftershock’ is a very real phenomenon after leaving a narcissist. When you are stuck in the fight with the narcissist you are in survival mode, and somehow that keeps you alive.

When you leave the narcissist you will experience grave Post and/or Complicated Stress Disorder Symptoms. Not unlike a holocaust survivor, the entire trauma has a chance to hit when you have got away.”

http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-leave-the-narcissist-with-your-emotions-intact/

 

Trauma Bonding: Is it Love or Something Else?

Excerpt: “With all of the survival fears, powerlessness and anxieties taking place, a great deal of neuro-peptides, resulting from your disturbed, fearful and unstable thoughts, are manufactured in your hypothalamus (chemical manufacturing plant of our brain) and are distributed into your blood stream and received by the cells of your body.

Our cells get addicted to the peptides they receive powerful doses of, and then physiologically we get addicted to getting more of these peptides, which the narcissist triggers within us regularly.

This creates feelings of I need his attention, I need his validation, I need his approval, I need his support, I need his love, I need him to provide me with some RELIEF and eventually just like a drug addict licking the crumbs off the lounge room rug, we will try to get any amount of the narcissist’s energy regardless of how damaging and soul destroying it is.”

http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/trauma-bonding-is-it-love-or-something-else/

 

Relationships of Equality

Excerpt: “Why didn’t people really teach us the meaning of ‘The truth sets us free?’ This means that speaking the truth about how we emotionally feel grants us the freedom of true self-love, love from others and happiness. 
I’m thoroughly convinced defensive communication destroys relationships. If you’re real (vulnerable), you’re truly empowered and truly safe. No one can disempower you, manipulate you or compromise your boundaries. You’re responding from a place of self-honour rather than reacting from a victim viewpoint. Victims take hostages. They create drama and fights – and they absolutely create their own ongoing pain.” 

And:

Men and women all want the same thing! We all want to stop the separation, stop the ‘enemy tactics’ and connect in honest and safe ways. Emotional integrity and realness is the greatest gift that we can bring to our love relationships. None of us can be loving and loved in relationships without this vital foundation.Reflections on Equal Partnership

  • Whatever vulnerability (feelings) you hide will keep creating the scenarios you fear.
  • Expressing your authentic feelings will give you authentic results.
  • Your expressed feelings equate to standing in your power.
  • If you are real – no one can take you down.
  • The truth will always set you free.
  • Get out of your head battles and speak the truth from your heart.

Taken From:  http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/articles/relationships-of-equality.htm

EL–Lastly, how do we develop these mutually respectful relationships, where we are able to authentically express our emotions and live from the heart of truth? This is where compassionate communication, inner empathy and the dedication to personal healing and growth come in. If we want to have these relationships we must cultivate them MUTUALLY.