Interview with a Female Milab and Project Avalon Member

By Eve Lorgen

This is an informal written interview of a female “milab” abductee whom I recently became acquainted with via my research. She prefers to maintain her anonymity at this time and suggests her name as only, a “Project Avalon Forum Member”.

I became interested in her experiences and opinions because she has been actively engaged in over two decades of healing and recovery work. She has recovered much memory and understanding of her experiences, especially the methodology which was used to find and create paranormal abilities.  She also asserts to the liaison of alien and human military involvement in a co-created project to produce operatives with supernatural abilities like remote viewing, time folding, bi-location and clairvoyant faculties.  What I find is that with true healing and recovery, experiencers of such projects no longer cater to the “entertainment” angle or the popular opinion aspect of the Paranormal/Conspiracy/UFO community circles. Healing, recovery and awareness work takes a sober, dedicated individual who learns to trust inner wisdom. Inner wisdom is not some “program of belief” or ego based defense system, but listening to the heart and dealing with the emotions carried through traumas. From what I have gathered with many wise experiencers who have done their own healing work, authentic awareness and self discovery does not happen with a single quick fix method of “healing”. It takes years of emotional processing, letting go of beliefs and behaviors which no longer work, while maintaining an inner core of truth and dedication to integrity on all levels.

1. When did you discover you were a “milab” abductee?

I would not say that I “discovered”, rather that I have always had memories that were attached to the military and abduction from an early age.  The term “milab” is something that I’ve gotten used to over the last five years.  While doing research on people like myself, I realized that the term applied.  The memories that I speak of are attached to an elementary school located in upstate New York, where I grew up for the first 8 years of my life.  Not only were kids like myself pulled from classes and tested for psychic abilities, but also kids were tagged by the military due to creativity, intelligence, and hearing abilities.  A white van would park outside the school, unmarked, with testing equipment for hearing, the other tests were done in the school with the acquiescence of the principal (who later was fired under allegations of child molestation). The army base that was involved in this (early 1970’s) resided only about a mile away.  Access to children, for them, was a non-issue.

Did this also involve alien visitations of various kinds?

Yes, my very first abduction memory, which actually occurred before I started elementary school (at the age of 4 years old) involved the Navy as well as an alien element.  In this memory I was taken from my bed to a small submarine by men.  These men then experimented upon me using drugs and torture methods to induce my leaving my body.  Once this was accomplished, I came into direct contact with what one would call Mantid/Grey intelligence.  This creature, which I could see clearly out of body, was overseeing the project with great interest.  I was informed by this intelligence that I was to return to my body as the experiment had been a success.  In later years I recall with clarity subsequent incidences which involved both military and aliens seemingly working together physically.


2. What discoveries did you make about your own family history in regards to why you were chosen for this project?

My family has a strong military background. Navy on both sides. This seems to be an element that may have some indication of a family history. Also, I’ve done research into the bloodlines of Milabs, and there is a pattern that includes Native American Indian mixed with Celtic heritage. My grandmother was of native blood, and the rest of my heritage includes Viking as well as a family coat of arms dating back to England and Wales.  Another significant aspect is that the women in my family were considered psychic or sensitive on the Viking side.  On top of this, both sides of the family were Masonic.


3. Are you aware of any official project name for what you were involved in for “milab operations or experimentation?

The only project name that I recall is “Bluebird”, though I do not know if this was the project name, or the name that I was given. Children were taken in large groups as well, we were separated by talents in clothing (matching paper gowns, foot socks, and pants)  The group I was in wore hospital blue, there was also a green and red group.


4. Did you have early childhood abuse from family, that you believe is related to being in a “project”?

Yes.  Abuse and access to children for experimentation seem to walk hand in hand.  Not only are children abused by their abductors, yet also families seem to have a history that is related to such abuse. Perhaps this is generational and by design. There seems to be a relationship to sexual abuse, energy transference into entities, and families. Sexual stimulation was also used to induce an out of body experience. Feelings of helplessness and fear create adrenalin which also quickens psychic awareness and induces a state of altered consciousness. Altered states of consciousness are fundamental to teach remote viewing, time folding, and the ability to leave ones body at will.


5. What about the occult or ritual element, was this present in any of your experiences?

I have several memories of masonic experiences, which are rather occult and ritualistic.  However, I consider myself fortunate to not have had the experience of being raised by satanists or people who were cognitively seeking stronger links to darker forces.  There certainly is a darker element involved with this type of abduction experience.  The puppet masters may actually be one in the same when discussing Reptilian aspects, however, rather then being “black magic” oriented, my experiences have had a very clinical nature to them.  They have always been scientific and militaristic in embodiment, sterile, and cold.  However, this does not exclude the fact that nefarious forces take notice of gifted people; and the converse is also true, gifted people take notice of nefarious forces.  IMO black magic is a tool that has been used, and used effectively with milabs, It also comes with a price.  I have had encounters that could be established as attacks from ritualistic magic, and have seen things that would be considered dark occult in nature.  There is a link here that I feel needs to be considered.


6. What kinds of beings, whether alien/ET or inter or extra dimensional, were involved in your abduction related experiences?

Human-like beings, some with long dark hair and others with cloth upon their heads, one being that was seemingly a giant (though these may all be screen memories implanted by the military, it’s important to be open minded about this), I’ve seen a Reptilian, ones that would be called Greys, Mantid, also smaller whiter beings similar to greys but with smaller expressive eyes.  Also very small creatures with interesting technology.  It’s been a rather mixed bag.  Some claim to be “helping” while others are doing a job with very human military people with them.  I was rather young when I saw the Reptilian, I was shocked and bewildered after the internet became a household tool. There I found others who described similar beings.  It seems to be more then just coincidental that so many are able to describe these visitors in such detail and similarity.


7. Were you ever told by these beings, or humans, medical, etc., that you have been genetically modified or are of some sort of “hybrid status”. Or what they call “augmented”?

No. Though the term “special” was often used.


8. Do you have any unusual medical or physical attributes that you consider “alien or hybrid?”

No, unless you would consider poor health and a lifelong battle with allergies to be unusual.  I’m a very pale nordic-looking female.  Tall and slender.  I’ve been told that I appear alien, but that is not unusual considering my heritage.  One interesting finding that I recently discovered while doing resonance therapy was that I tested positive for a “Kuru” bacteria that was rather ancient and not supposed to exist in modern times.  This was with Resonance testing which was created by Dr. Voll.  The practitioner said that this can happen to people who are remote viewers, they can pick up viruses and bacteria from the past and bring it back with them.  I do not know if there is any validity to this, however, I do find it interesting.


9. What kinds of abilities did you discover you had that were not “average”?

I’m a visual artist.  My IQ is above average.  I have an innate understanding of quantum physics. I remote view and am considered to be psychic.  I’m what you would call “sensitive”.


10. How were you instructed or trained to utilize these “abilities” in milab experimentation or operations?

Unfortunately, the military uses rather crude methodologies to get results.  There is nothing finely crafted nor subtle about how this is accomplished, at least not in my era.  Torture, drugs, psychological trickery, trauma and more are all utilized to accomplish any given goal.  For example, a person could be placed out in the middle of a mine field and then told to find their way back to safety using only their abilities to detect where not to step foot.  Another scenario is a group training where people are locked into a warehouse and they must work as a team to escape, this is to ascertain who works well together, who has leadership qualities, what a person can take physically etc.  In terms of training, lies are utilized.  For example, I would be given a picture and asked to find the person in the picture.  I would remote view with others the site and astrally lead them to their goal.  However, what would happen next could be nothing short of murder.  This I was never told, but I hung around once and discovered this was indeed the case.  For a child, innocence is used as a way to coercion.  The military knows through profiling who would pull a trigger and who would not.  I would not.  As I would not willingly lead anyone to harm, rather a keen sense of loyalty and a need to help others were used as tools to get me to do what they wanted.  The desire to be loved and complimented is also a strong force.

Did you ever observe cloned people or hybrid alien humans?

Yes.  I believe that I had an experience with a hybrid at a gallery that I owned.  It was an unusual conversation.  The woman was very tall, and had incredibly thin hair that barely covered her head.  Her face seemed out of proportion, like a person who has had too much plastic surgery.  I remember looking up from my desk and there she was, asking me if I was happy and fulfilled in my current position… it was a very unusual conversation.  I noted that I had to really concentrate on her words, as I was effected by her and put into an altered state.  As soon as she left my, brain wanted to forget the interaction, yet I held on to it.  Still it is fractal and not clear what she was telling me.  I will never forget that.  She seemed to just vanish when she walked out the door.  It was very unusual.


11. Are you aware of any compartmentalized alter personalities that were created with specific abilities? And did you remember how these personalities were “created”?

Yes and no.  I was strapped into a chair and tortured until my mind fractured.  I remember that I created hallways and closets in my mind with doors that led to emotions.  Each door had a label or a number.  Since then, I’ve opened up the doors and reintegrated these fractured parts of myself.  I’m not trying to be glib about this, this process took 20 years of hard work.  “Abilities” is not the right word, persona is more to the mark.  Each persona had an emotional aspect, each emotional aspect would be able to preform tasks.  For example, if one was in a mine field then you would not embody the emotion of fear, rather a calm and solid state without emotion would be most effective.  However, where does the fear go then?  Into the closet.  Either way, the “ability” to detect mines could be compromised by an emotional state.  For me personally, it was always about controlling emotions, not compartmentalizing abilities. However, this is my own personal experience.  I have no doubt that the manchurian candidate scenario is a unfortunate truth for others.


12. Have you ever experienced bi location accidentally or in the framework of being “trained by your abductors” in milab operations or ET related experiences?

I have to laugh.  This is a very loaded question.  During this interview I have been very cautious (sorry) due to the understanding that what I say has a certain retribution.  Milabs in general know this.  We put our necks out and things happen.  These things can be very difficult, I know I’m being vague here but it can be targeting, emotional trauma, and physical targeting that is rather dangerous.  However, I would like to discuss what I call the “change”.  The change is related to a change in location for me personally which also encompassed a change technologically in how these interactions occurred. Which has a great deal to do with bio-location.  In my personal experience, this change occurred in the 1980’s.

In the 1980’s I had the misfortune to be taken regularly by a group that my have had military interactions, but they seemed to be more human experimenters, doctors who had the ability to bio-locate to continue these experiments on a completely different level.  Meaning:  At first I was being physically taken by military that were mostly Navy, then, when my family moved to another location, a very different type of abduction began to occur. This may be due to being closer to an area where this tech was being used or it may be due to technology that was gained during that era, or both.

For example, literally my room would melt when I was going to sleep.  Melt. In describing this everything would turn white, people would “appear” in my room and then encircle my bed.  These people were now not necessarily military, but were all white coated lab techs/ doctors.  My bed would turn into a very sterile stainless steal bed, all of this would occur while I was wide awake.  I could, in the initial beginnings of this transference, get up and go to the bathroom for example, but then upon returning to my bed, the transmutation of reality would occur rather quickly and continue again.  This was very different from the military abductions that I had experienced earlier and also the ET abductions where I was taken to a craft and had more interactions.  This was an entirely different world than the physical abductions that I was used to.

The abduction technology, which I was familiar with, where an ET could enter through walls, closed windows etc., was IMO being utilized by humans.  Human people knew how to do this and were/are doing this.  So in answer to your query, Yes.  Physical and astral– both.  Perhaps it is difficult to know which is what.  This is where the physical aspects of “BEING” come into question.  Timelines distort, and a person can be placed in the past, present or future… it’s hard to describe, yet I know the truth of this.

Now this “change” really encompassed more.  Also, I noted that I could be suddenly needing a nap for instance (which I believe was a programmed response), I would lay down and find that I would be “pulled in” to a scenario that was using me for a Remote Viewing operation.  Now, this means that we can be taken out of our bodies by another group through their will.  This is concerning.  I’m not meaning to scare anyone, but this needs to be discussed.

Another aspect is being placed into an alien body to perform tasks off world… this was also a part of my experience.  During this experience humans were working with ET’s together to perform tasks, tasks that could be performed by an ET body safely, but a human mind was needed to complete the task in a human way.  There was some type of agreement that enabled this, but for me, I was only a child and so I was just doing as I was told.

These experiences have lessoned as I’ve gotten older to a great degree. Assets are used until they are no longer useful. Yet also, I’ve stepped up my abilities and used what i’ve been taught against the very format that I was brought into. I RV my own experience now.  This does not mean that I am safe by any means, just that I’m in a cognitive struggle to retain my own independence.


13. What about telepathy between humans in abductions/experiences or in “real life/physical life” situations?

I have noted that we can recognize each other.  This can be due to being part of a same grouping, or perhaps it’s just that we can tie into each other on a psychic way.  It’s one of my talents, to be able to read people, but I feel a pressure and a familiarity when I walk on the street and feel another that has been used cognitively or not in these experimentations.  A lot of people do not even realize that this is a part of their reality, that’s another can of worms.


14. What are your opinions on the latest revelations by Simon Parkes (Kerry Cassidy interview this summer in UK) with reference to some ET beings wanting to ascend, and his general overview of the abduction and milab issue?

Simon is admittedly under the guidance of what he calls the Mantids.  He also states that he is “reptilian” in nature or soul.  In dealing with anyone who has such a strong identification with another race I would advise caution.  What a person can trust is one’s own sovereignty and autonomy.  Think for yourself always and use such interviews as indications of information that may be either accepted or discarded using one’s own discernment.  In order to do this effectively, you need to take an active participation in discernment by taking the time to study.  If you (the reader) are a person who believes all that you hear;  you are selling yourself short.  As to the ascension issue, it is interesting to hear the terms “riding on the backs” of other humans.  Reminds me of entity attachment, which is parasitical in nature.  However, the idea that races need to advance (and I would include humans in this) as we all stand to make room for spiritual improvement, is interesting.  True or not?  Simon believes his own truth and what he is told by mantids.  I believe my own truth, however, I’m open to new information and open to the idea that not only have I had to go through programming, but I am continually dealing with programming issues either through basic media or through my own experiences.  We need to always question everything, including ourselves.  That takes courage and the willingness to personally change your beliefs if need be.  Each individual will have a perception that differs from another.  This is based on our experiences.  Simon is a product of his experiences and an interesting person to study.

15. Have you had any experience with the targeting technologies to thwart your healing and awareness process, which is not ” a program”, but some external applied technology or interference?  Or have you experiences a “love bite” disruption or having disrupter agents sent in to derail your awakening, etc.?

Yes, I’m currently being treated for EMF over-exposure, which is unfortunately a tactic that is used often with targeted individuals. There are a few methods that I’ve found helpful, ie:  Copper coils shaped like the letter “G” beneath my mattress and also surrounding my bedroom with copper wire.  A friend recently suggested homeopathic gold, which I am rather excited  to try.  I meditate and use methods of energy circulation that I learned through reading Mantak Chia’s books.  However, as much as I try to prop myself up, the fact is that this constant vigilance can be exhausting at times.  I am always experimenting.

As to handlers and or disrupter agents, life is full of them.  Due to programming anyone can be used to accomplish this.  Frequencies in people can be manipulated just as easily as electrical frequencies in cars.  My husband and I are very careful to negotiate rather then argue, which is thankfully in our natures.  I ask myself daily if my feelings/thoughts are my own. There is a difference in thoughts that are patterned interference and genuine thoughtfulness. You can pinpoint this difference and block the patterning by raising your personal frequency, or rather, change your frequency. Even doing something simple like taking vitamin C or having a salt bath can accomplish this. Be your own programmer.  Change the game. I believe that they want to keep a milab in a constant state of anxiety.  Anxious people are easier to herd and control. Paranoia is also a great way to easily discredit a victim.  For instance, I have had at times two strangers walk up to me to inform me that they were watching me.  If you react with fear, they have done their job most effectively.

Surrounding family or friends can also be used and manipulated to do the work of a disrupter, or people suddenly appear and turn out to be rather sociopathic. I have needed to be on guard.  Most people do not know that they can be used to target others; and then there are those who are handlers and very much aware and doing the job. In my case my own parents acquiesced a certain amount of access to me by the military, as well as my elementary school.  I take care to be vigilant, cautious, and make pains to create intelligent choices with regards to whom I  surround myself self with.  My family and I are no longer directly involved and I’ve chosen to live in another country.

As to the alien love bite:   I’ve been in several past relationships that seem to fit this context.  I was stalked by a person who was rather dangerous and obsessive for several years.  I am much more discerning now, thank goodness, and less apt to get caught up in such emotional entrapments.  My own personal maturity had a great deal to do with my ability to discern “love bite” love from relationships that are healthy.  As we know, sex is entangled in energy harvesting, abilities, and control methodologies.  There is much to consider before heading into a relationship.


16. Which healing and recovery methods were most useful to you in your own journey?

I’ve discovered that a form of memory retrieval which repeats traumatic experiences until they no longer hold charge is most effective.  It is horrific, difficult, time consuming, and exhausting.  But, well worth it.  One of the experiences that had caused me much difficulty was the use of flashing lights to program me.  I have always had a hard time with flashing lights.  However, when I went through this memory over and over again until I could talk about it easily… well I felt much better after.  This was done with two other very qualified practitioners who were able to help release the charge, protect my space, and let me lead myself through my own memory safely. They used some methods that have roots in Scientology, however, they are NOT Scientologists. There is also the idea of the holographic universe that is utilized to help release charge and create understanding of motivations.  For example, one could not only go through a memory from your own perspective, but also through the perspective of others who may also be in the memory with you.  All information has access if one understands the holographic nature of the fabric we are made of.  In a nutshell, I remote view my own experience.  But you need not be a remote viewer to do this effectively. (Do not try this alone!  If anyone is interested I can provide information to you, Eve, that would allow others to contact the people that are doing this.)


17. What advice would you offer to a person who knows they are a milab and wants to recover memories and break free of the programs?

Be careful. This will change your life. I will be perfectly honest here. Things will get worse before they get better. Be prepared for all kinds of ripples in your life. They do not want you to remember, so there is programming in place to make you sick, to emotionally sabotage yourself, even to hurt yourself through drugs or alcohol.  Be aware that you have work to do and be resolute in your desire to know yourself. Be ruthless with your memories, stick to fact and reality as you know it to be true. Do not waver. Take care who you speak to about this, as it will be used against you.  Take care to have support; lone wolf programming is very strong in milabs, find others like yourself that you can share with.  Research.  Give yourself uplifting moments every day.  GROUND yourself through gardening or taking long walks.  Seek out all that is real and tactile to base yourself on two strong feet.  Eat well, try to sleep more, and do not alter your state of mind through the use of drugs or alcohol.  Meditate, try out yoga, relax.  Cry when you have to and do not suppress emotions, yet do this safely for yourself and for others.

Most helpful is knowing that I am not alone in this. Long live the internet. I’ve gotten the most solace through interacting and talking with others like myself. Sites like the Project Avalon Forum have been instrumental to my healing. Also, ditching my ego and my ridiculous notion that I could handle all of this by myself. What we do not know is far more interesting and revealing then what we do.


EL: This is a good point. I’ve also found that healing is a process that requires that we connect with others in such a way that a mutuality of benefit takes place to heal one another. I’ve mentioned this in the “Dark Side of Cupid“ book in the Healing, Awareness and Recovery section. I think what often binds us to “try to do it all alone” is conditioning by our society, and especially the patriarchal program. Shame is also the biggest deterrent to healing, but also the defenses which keep us bound to avoidance of the pain of what our heart can tell us. Our emotions are actually the key, and this requires an open heart connection. When we can connect with others from a mutual heart space, is when authentic change and profound healing can take place. I am saddened by so many people—especially men who “keep to themselves” and have conditioning that tells them “they must be strong and do it all alone” and “I don’t need help or counseling”. When people make these statements defensively, they tend to be the ones who really need counseling and healing. And because they refuse to acknowledge their own lack of healing, they inadvertently hurt others through their denial and defensive behaviors. If they can let go of their defenses  and longstanding beliefs and programs, a whole new way of being opens up leading to a heart centered happiness. I can’t tell you how many times I hear this from people seeking answers and yet their egos forge the way to stop them because they are too proud or too “stuck in programs” to even to admit to themselves that “they need help”. This actually stops the expansion of awareness and empowerment process in my view.  What you said about “Line Wolf Programming” is so true within the milab experience and those who have gone through any kind of abductions or MK Ultra programming. I think the Matrix sets us up to be this way too, since rejection is so common when we really speak out about what “really happened to us”. Most people just can’t handle the truth.

I appreciate your sharing honestly about your experience and opinions on your healing journey.