Building Upon the Real for the Greater Good

In my previous article, The Aftermath of the Alien Love Bite, Soul Types and Predators”(See: http://evelorgen.com/wp/articles/alien-love-bite-related/the-aftermath-of-the-alien-love-bite-soul-types-and-predators/) I proposed to write an article that could answer some tough questions by my clients, especially the ones who were born into “specific bloodlines” of ruling occult groups who target them for many reasons. The questions that have been repeatedly brought up by some Dark Side of Cupid, “love bite” experiencers are, “Why do I repeatedly keep being targeted by vampiric and especially “reptilian hosted” agents who seem to be run by these inter dimensional beings?” And of course the biggest question by these people is, “what can I do to keep these parasites away from me?” How can I build my life and authentic love relationships with a human being who is benevolently compatible and not like “the other predators?”

I contemplated this from a more spiritual perspective based upon a profound experience I had many years ago at the age of 22. This experience catalyzed a deep realization of remembrance, a core essence of being, whose depth of “realness” was so immense, total, absolute and freeing, that the core significance of it vindicated a deep realness within an eternal place of being. A deeper, greater reality. It was recognition of truth of beingness free of the earthly and even “astral” state of being. This deep knowing is present always, when in this state of presence. But when I returned back into my body state of consciousness, the shock of this realization was so intense it nearly gave me a heart attack. In fact, I believed at the time, if I did not return to my “body” from this realized state of beingness, my heart would explode and I would die of some kind of heart attack.

Well, I did not die physically, but the experience of spiritual remembrance left me shaken, wordless and deeply imprinted in such a way that a truth was revealed in me, for recognitions sake, beyond all religion or teachings that I had known at that time. It was not until many years later in my exploration of Gnostic, Tibetan Buddhist studies and Advaita-Vedanta mystical teachings that I came to understand this experience. But the ironic thing about this realization was that my original intention and prayers for three days and nights was to “know and understand the truth of Jesus Christ, the one in the Bible.” Well, I can assure you this was no “vision” of Jesus but more of a direct recognition of beingness that was so utterly real in its depth, that there was no question in my mind about what truth is inside our being. “Seek the Kingdom of Heaven first within you and all will be added unto you.” Each and every one of us who has an eternal spirit of awareness has this within them. But most of us do not fully remember this state of being.

 

What People Really Want—Freedom and Happiness

So much of what my counseling clients seek is of course, happiness, but more specifically, freedom from inter dimensional interference, and all that goes with this. The “archontic” Matrix control systems run by seemingly predatory beings, both human and non human— appears to be the problem on “the outside” that ruins so many lives. Ultimately I believe, building upon and recognizing the real—our internal truth of being—is the key to freedom, empowerment, love and all good things. But for most people, and even “yogis and mystics”, this must be done gradually, in such a way that we increase and expand our awareness of “reality”. This awareness becomes more and more real, until we can sustain a measure of lucidity in mindfulness.

True happiness comes from within. It actually arises out of getting in touch with our core essence of being. Contact with true reality. It is not a short term investment strategy, nor does it have to take a long time. But it does require that you desire it, are willing to be still, have faith, be patient, humble and courageous.

 
Getting Lucid with Mindfulness and Self-Observation

This must be a step by step process, where we are intentionally committed expand our own awareness, out of which comes change. Mindfulness is not really about “trying to change” but rather intending on allowing ones awareness to be aware of truth versus lies; stalking the illusions. As we go into a place of self-observation and mindfulness, we will start to perceive what distractions and “obstacles in our path” have prevented us from being still, from being happy, from feeling love. From feeling truly alive and knowing ourselves in our core essence. It is not a “conceptual self analysis” or self-absorbed narcissism either. It requires us to take notice of whatever feelings are present in the moment, without identifying with them so much that we lose our lucidity.

What is lucidity, you may ask? For me, it is awareness of being aware. Like what happens when you are in a dream, and know you are dreaming. In that moment of recognition, the reality of the dream deepens immensely, everything vivifies, and with it can come a natural state of wonder and joy of whatever arises in the moment. It unleashes the wonder of each unfolding moment as a mystery that is beyond our illusion of controlling the dream. Many people assume that lucidity in dreams is being able to control the dream or the vividness of it. But this is in error. It is the absolute knowing that you are dreaming and therefore have a greater ability to create and connect on expanded levels of being, not only as the dreamer, but as the background of the dreams and characters. It is a wonderful oneiric laboratory to explore self-healing, and discovering parts of ourselves we may not be fully aware of. We can apply lucidity in our meditation, in our daily lives. We can take advantage of this process when we have negative feelings and positive feelings. With lucid awareness our understanding of the feelings observed in that moment will be revealed in such a way, that we are able change out of an authentic awakening, with much less effort.

When we “wake up” we no longer will hold on to the things which we realize are illusions, distractions, addictions, bad relationships, avoidance or self-pity. The waking up process is not so easy however. When it does happen, it can be painful, and we may hit a threshold of obstacles, pain, and intense suffering of any number of feelings before we have that “aha!” moment. It tends to happen in stages when we can process the insights revealed over time and with maturity. In my view, the spiritual path to awakening is a healing journey where deep psychological changes take place.

 

Psychological Healing and Trauma Resolution Therapy Helps Wake Us Up

Waking up to a greater spiritual reality inevitably requires substantial psychological self reflection and healing of our deepest core wounds. This is essentially a psychotherapeutic process to root out the original causes of our suffering. It is really a rooting out process of identifying that which is false, and cutting through the psychological defenses which keep us from connecting deeper into our own core selves. Oftentimes it is easier to discover what the truth is by knowing in our heart, what we are not. And I can assure you, most beliefs in the “matrix world system” are geared to prop up false beliefs about who and what you are, in order to control you. The unenlightened love to lord over and control you, they are lovers of power, usually with big egos. Have you ever noticed how the power hungrier someone is, the more of a psychopath they turn out to be? And do you really think they have your best interests at heart?

Now here is a paradox. The truth is, things do not need to be fixed, they need to be understood. If we can truly understand without judgement and over identification and excessive emotional triggering, things will change naturally. Oh, but what does this really mean when we break things down into practical day to day living and being?

Therapy and counseling in some practices are more about alleviating symptoms or reinforcing the “matrix world view”, where pharmaceuticals are prescribed or “things to make you feel better” are advised. And on the spiritual front line of “enlightenment solutions” we can run into the fake gurus who are really spiritual predator-vampires. Gatekeepers and soul entrappers who end up identifying and feeding off of the real “gifted ones”. Then they target you to exploit or clamp down your real, supernatural abilities. I do find it almost ironic, that many who have woken up, have found out by going to hell and back. Or having been trapped by evil sorcerers, or being in an abusive relationship with a narcissist only to discover what they don’t want and who they are not. This is a huge key. You want to know why?

Because when things get bad enough you are forced to feel negative emotions. You may be forced to drop your ego and surrender enough to experience a deeper presence of being within. You may hit rock bottom like the alcoholic or drug addict who finally realizes their way of life is killing them. They finally wake up to the shocking insanity and intense pain they are feeling. It is necessary to get in touch with the negative feelings you are having, be aware of what they are. Take note of the positive ones too. What causes these feelings, really? Where do they start in your body? Can you be in your body or are you habitually dissociating? You need to be still long enough to know when your automatic, triggered avoidance patterns start kicking into gear, in ways that actually pull you out of REALITY and connection with your heart and your core self. You know that is what addictions are all about don’t you? Avoidance of uncomfortable feelings, hidden traumas and vulnerable emotional wounds.

Do you know what is funny? Addicts and alcoholics feel like life would be boring and dull without the drugs, alcohol etc. Many have not really got into contact with their core selves because they are avoiding bad feelings, perhaps repressed traumas. Trauma and addictions go together like peas and carrots. If you work on one, let’s say the drinking part, the other issue will rise to the surface. If you deal with the trauma first, and truly resolve the trauma over time, (or even rapidly with modalities such as Rapid Release Trauma Therapy, hypnotherapies etc.) your addictions may just stop by themselves. Or in the least with less effort. This is where the understanding part comes in. With understanding, things will change naturally. You don’t have to “fix feelings”, you just have to self-connect long enough to understand, let go of the illusions and the problems disappear. It is really more about letting go.

And you know what will drive psychopaths and abusers away from you? You want to get rid of them? Start a meditation practice, be still, silent and ever aware. They will think you are so BORING they will leave you alone and have to find someone else for their narcissistic supply of energy!

 

The Walls We Hit Before Waking Up

Faith is the number one necessity before any positive change can occur. This is a pre-requisite for Buddhist teachings on enlightenment and for genuine happiness as well. It is not just a Christian virtue, but is supreme in just about every religion. If you prefer, we can say that it is helpful that you see that it is desirable to wake up in order to relieve your suffering. It must be desirable to give up illusions and dependencies on what is NOT REAL so you can make contact with that deeper REALITY. That awakening to the deeper reality of your true beingness is so powerful that entire systems of control have been created to keep you addicted to the fake, so as to distract you without you even knowing you are a puppet. So do you really want freedom and awakening?

And what tends to happen before we can drop illusions, over identifications, and ego masks to go deeper inside the mystery of the heart and spirit? Those psychological defenses pop up, mind control programs, avoidance patterns, addictions, distractions and real demons could start manifesting. Oftentimes when our distraction patterns drop, we touch in with our aloneness during periods of silence. We can feel quite alone even when we are with someone, if any emotional wounds have not been dealt with. There is this thing called loneliness which can be so unbearable, despairing and empty that we avoid it at all costs, thinking loneliness can only be cured by having company, or doing the things which numb those bad feelings when you start to feel lonely or depressed. Loneliness can happen when we are with someone or alone. It can happen when we start to be still in solitude, even in meditation, as we get in touch with silence. Sometimes the loneliness is like a wall of the most despairing pain of hopelessness, non love, and shameful unworthiness. A rejection so deep, an abandonment so great that you split it off into another compartment of your being. It could be the overlay covering up rage, intense sadness or even terror. But remember this is a wall, they are feelings, which are not really you, but feelings of experience you have had or still live in you based on something much earlier in life that was never healed or made conscious.

 

Our Addictions and Avoidance Patterns Distort Our Perception of Reality

The difficult part of the self-discovery process is how many of our behaviors are running on a kind of automatic mode, something we cannot seem to consciously control from a logical perspective. When we are still running on these automatic defenses and “conditioned programs”, our perceptions of others and of reality is skewed. We tend to see people through the lens of our own addictive needs—the needs we cling to so that we don’t have to feel uncomfortable feelings, our old wounds still festering inside. If we seem to be stuck in blaming others, or trying to fix the world, we have not fully woken up. If we keep trying to control others in co-dependent relationships, we have not done our self-healing work. If we still are dependent on approval, appreciation and the constant distraction of company of others (in a compulsive way), we are still asleep. If we keep finding ourself looking for love from someone out there, we have not dealt with our stuff. If we habitually manipulate others into providing for our own “psychic energy”, attention and approval, we are actually emotional energy vampires in disguise.

Now I know this sounds harsh and like a cliche about seeking it all within. It is not ALL within but so much of it is, that if we don’t take personal responsibility and a willing humbleness to deal with our SH**, then nothing will change. Love happens through openness and awareness. It can only happen by dropping the illusions which have kept us in this merry go round of distractions, numbness and disconnection from reality.

 

What We Need is Slowing Down

There are some things that we do need, however. Safety is very important, either in or out of a relationship. Many of my anomalous trauma clients lack the safety and sustained stillness to stay with the mindful, healing and recovery process long enough to truly wake up. They may have so much drama and “interference” that any kind of committed therapy process is unlikely. And when this happens I can guarantee you it is part of the “program” to keep the person believing that it is impossible, unnecessary, too expensive, everyone else’s fault and the entire gamut of I’m right, ego rigidity and “yes but…”.excuses. Many of the excuses are part of what I call the learned helplessness, “whining victim” program that effectively self sabotages true change. And if I would tell this to someone who is in the midst of a whopping, whining victim (or predator) program, it would infuriate them. The truth is, they really believe they are powerless because they are trapped in illusions.

What we do need is willingness for more awareness, stillness, enjoying the simple pleasures of life, like decent food, water, light, exercise, a good book, perhaps an entertaining movie now and then. But what we don’t need is to be so busy that we cannot enjoy simple pleasures and instead adopt artificial stimulants, or are too busy and sleep deprived to even enjoy simple pleasures. We want to engage the true senses and slow down. When we do slow down, our senses actually come more alive, making it easier to enjoy simple pleasures. The need for addictions, drama or over stimulation falls away. It only requires a decision to be still with awareness for a short period daily or on a regular enough basis in small steps and goals. You can perceive miracles and hidden, secret things from slowing down. Your perceptions expand, and when you start noticing all kinds of things, understanding of what arises starts to awaken in you. This enables you to change, the awareness that comes with simply slowing down.

 

Mindfulness Meditation is Good

In my own experience, I had explored just about every “therapy” there is, from cognitive-behavioral talk therapy, hypnotherapy, rebirthing, interpersonal communication skills, marriage and family therapy, lucid dreaming, journaling, art therapy, dance, creative writing, martial arts, Chi Gong, authentic movement and yoga. You name it, I did it. Some significant radical shifts in expanded awareness occurred after doing a couple of 10 day shamatha meditation retreats. Shamatha meditation is a very simple form of mindful sitting meditation where one follows the breath, a single object of meditation or awareness of whatever arises in the mind. (http://www.deerparkthimphu.org/activities/shamatha.html) I personally would recommend doing this with a very good teacher in person, someone like Dr. Alan B. Wallace. (http://www.sbinstitute.com/Shamatha_Project)

Sometimes it takes getting out of your ordinary habits in a different environment, where silence and stillness with awareness is the only activity. For me, meditation is what woke me up to feeling and finally perceiving in vivid, expanded awareness, the insanity I had been living, and it was shocking and painful enough for me to change. For other individuals however, it may be something else that wakes them up in such a way as to be the catalyst for effective change. I’ve seen some “meditation junkies” become kind of addicted to the cult aspect of Buddhist community, instead of doing more deep, psychotherapeutic work. Some people actually fall into dissociation, rather than embodied awareness in stillness, that true meditation requires. This is why it is good to have an experienced teacher, who has demonstrated their own internal self-healing and mindfulness work. You will recognize them by their openness, compassion, and wisdom in how they live their lives and how well their own students learn and exemplify wisdom in their lives.

The evidence is when change starts to take place in you, in your awareness. It happens, you don’t do it. If you try to “do it” it doesn’t last. Change is natural through awareness of truth, reality and embodied self-connectedness. Then you keep your openness, flexibility, softness and compassion through awareness. It is not a rigid “trying to control”, change. Or being compelled to lecture or prove yourself right. The evidence is in the softness, ease, effortless effort, compassion, awareness, wisdom and openness. It is a tasting and feeling, an experiential, expanded perception beyond information in your head or over analyzing on a conceptual level. And with this comes strength and courageousness. Joy will start to emerge, a spontaneousness to perceive humor in life as well.

 

Doing the Healing Work

Nothing is more painful and humbling than someone telling you that, “you need therapy”, or ask you sarcastically, “are you off your meds?”. Or when a concerned family member, friend or fellow work mate suggests you get into a recovery program for an ongoing addiction you have normalized in your life, which is starting to create problems that you, apparently, are unaware of. More often than not, when we do decide to get “professional help” for something, it resulted from an uncomfortable situation in our life like a broken relationship, lost job or God forbid, a Driving Under the Influence (DUI) or police arrest. One good thing about suffering is that it can be the agent of positive change and expanded awareness. Some experiences, such as a narcissistic abuse, alien love bite relationships can be so intense and psycho-spiritually shattering that it can serve as a “spiritual initiation” of permanent consciousness change. A real wake up call.

The sad part about “not having done our healing and personal growth work”, or for short, “not dealing with your sh**” (NDWYSH), means that some part of you has disconnected from your spiritual core essence, most likely your emotional center. Part of your heart actually shuts down, and with this shutting down comes a block in your awareness, a blind spot. We do this to ourselves as a reaction to stress, trauma or deep emotional wounds. Sometimes our conditioned beliefs and ways we were raised in our family system required us to be cut off from our own authentic being, or we would not be accepted, loved. In severe cases, if we did not do or be what we were told, we were beaten up, abused or thrown out on the streets. Abandoned.

It is rather ironic that in order to psychologically survive such kinds of abuse and traumas, we abandon our own selves, to protect us from the shock of the reality that perhaps we lived in a very unsafe world, where we really were unloved or had psychopath caretakers. And for many of us, the shock of reality, the extreme vulnerability and powerlessness of childhood, and our feelings about the craziness we have had to endure, was too much for a young child.(It can be too much for an adult!) That inner child—whose real needs, identity, whose heart and soul had to be abandoned or be put in cold storage somewhere, until some day, it would be safe enough to be who we are and feel what we feel.

 
Co-Dependency is a Spiritual Issue

In Melanie Tonia Evans article, “On Co-Dependency and Narcisicism, (See: http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/2014-co-dependency-check-up/) she addresses the culprit of the spiritual disease of Co-Dependency and Narcissism:

“Societal beliefs, unconsciousness, and the horrific programming of ‘Needing to get worthiness, value, approval, and love outside of ourselves’ is all responsible for the dis-ease (yes it is a human disease) of co-dependency.

The reason being is: we are all a product of a world that looks “outwards” for comfort and fulfillment. We were NOT taught to come inside and self-partner in times of stress.
Rather we were told to “Shut up and get on with it”, or that our feelings and emotions were “inconvenient” and “irrelevant” and therefore had to be ignored, repressed, shoved aside or switched off.
As a result we all became more and more disconnected from our emotional centres and we tried to acquire stuff or people’s love and approval to stop the pain, and when that failed we took up addictions (self-avoidance mechanisms) to try to numb ourselves out from the pain.

Co-dependency is a spiritual disease. It is NOT a psychological issue, the psychological component is the symptom. It is an emotional issue, a soul issue.  The remedy does not lie in logical thinking. It requires a deep connection back to yourself and your true connection with Source / Life / God.

Until we know we are at One with Source (and at the Quantum Level that is the absolute scientific truth) we cannot ever be at One with ourselves, others or this planet.
This is when we suffer the results of “disconnection” and are not generating the Source truth of “wellbeing”. Rather we are granted by Source/Life/God the results of our free will choice of living in the illusions of “separation”.

And that separation hurts so much it makes us want to be addicted to whatever alleviates these awful feelings of disconnection from our true REAL SELVES/SPIRIT/SOURCE.

By reacting in unconscious triggering, and whatever addictions we choose to effectively numb our pain, this decision constitutes an agreement to disconnect from our heart and soul, leaving us open for other substitutes to run our “vehicle”. This disconnect also takes away from our life force energy and our awareness in consciousness, because energy and awareness are linked. The more your energy is lost, the less aware you become.

We may have grown up this way, living in dysfunctional families, where all these kinds of crazy behaviors were normalized, including verbal abuse, emotional neglect, boundary invasions, poor communication skills and addictions. And when we grew older, and entered into relationships, jobs and started raising our own families, we started having huge problems. Sometimes it is the problems that wake us up to the discovery of how blind, numb, abusive or victimized we really were. And when we don’t heal these original wounds, we set ourselves up to be hurt even more, sometimes as victims or on the other end of it as perpetrators of abuse.

The difficult thing about effective, lasting change is that it must be dealt with on deeper levels of our being, not just logical analysis or simple awareness of your patterns. It must happen in such a way that you connect to the younger feeling parts of yourself that initially experienced the trauma, the vulnerable part who held false beliefs about themselves or the world, that needs to be let go of. The self abandonment that occurs with early traumas are often linked in with Boundary issues. According to Melanie Tonia Evans,

“True empowered boundaries mean: ‘I love myself and I know my truth. I know who I am, and I will not compromise myself anymore. You have a choice to be in my reality of meeting this higher vibration. If you don’t – that’s okay – I’m not in anymore regardless of the consequences. Because in no way is the correct and healthy development of my life dependent on you making any particular choice, or even understanding what I need. You are NOT my source of self – I AM!’

Now of course we don’t reach this level of conduct until we have done the work on ourselves to get there, and naturally the work is about finding and up-levelling the young unhealed parts of our Inner Being that are still hooked on “You HAVE to be the source of me because I can’t be that to myself”.

It is true, as children we couldn’t be a source to ourselves, we were entirely co-dependent. We were powerless and vulnerable, and if we haven’t healed and up-levelled these young parts – which means self-developing and growing them lovingly and supportively up – they still affect us, regardless of knowing better logically. I promise you the painful aspects of our life are not being created logically, and they can’t be solved logically.

It’s been stated in therapy circles, “There is no healing without feeling”. And I believe this is true. Sometimes all we need is the safety, empathy and permission to feel whatever is happening inside us with gentle nudging towards real release and deep insight. It is amazing what people do when they hit their “wall” of the pain.(Or PTSD overload) Oftentimes they may spin into story telling, over and over, in a cyclic, anger—addicted way, without true resolution of the underlying feeling. Feelings are in layers, and what most people do not understand is that emotions like rage and anger are actually secondary. They cover up deeper feelings that are more vulnerable. The goal is to be able to reach that wall with awareness of what we habitually have been doing to jerk away from the “feeling”, the real memories etc., so we can address that protective part and the beliefs it may hold— which “takes control” to avoid the issue. For some people, they need more aggressive confrontation and redirection to be present with THAT FEELING and memory. Others need more gentle reassurance, nudging and guidance to take that feeling to its origin in the present now. Sometime it must be taken slowly, so that the feelings and embodied awareness of processing this energy can be done with more self control, safely without triggered PTSD syndrome.

Being able to feel, be vulnerable, feel safe, and let go of what is pent up inside creating so many problems, is not always an easy, logical process. It can take time, or it can be relatively fast, once the defenses are set aside to release and get to the truth. Working directly with the subconscious mind, identifying those beliefs and fears is the eventual goal for more rapid resolution. We must get in touch with those abandoned parts, love them, forgive them, self parent them, and allow these parts to grow up. This is how you stop seeking and expecting others to always fill those voids, to be happy. Then we are less likely to attract predators. The predators will be attracted to you if you still are not taking personal responsibility for your healing and still have self abandonment and “blind spots”. If we keep seeking others to “take away our pain”, keep us from feeling lonely, depressed or looking for that magic healer to “clear all my implants, attached entities”, etc. we will fall into the same traps. It is not that a therapist or healer cannot help you, but it should be, rather, that they help guide you to help yourself and bring into your awareness the self-discovery to heal yourself. You have to be ready to feel, and see what you are really believing about yourself, life and others. The denial must be dropped for clear perception. And clarity comes as you drop those addictions, illusions, excessive fears and desires.

If you haven’t gotten it yet that healing is all about deeper self-connection, self responsibility, expanded awareness, and being willing to be vulnerable in your heart, you will fall back into the co-dependent “conditioning program”. Or keep on being addicted to numbing, blaming others, acting out, etc. Or you may fall into the perpetrator rather than victim role, or vacillate between the two.

How can we become more aware of what we are really doing, not doing, believing, or feeling in ways that indicate there is still some healing to do? Are you worried or compelled to try to “protect people from their feelings”? Do you do this unconsciously? What fears are driving you—what beliefs? Practice awareness, mindfulness. Here is a good “Co-Dependency Checklist” that Melanie Tonia Evans created for those in recovery programs:

 
▪ Do you spend a lot of time worrying about what other people think about you?
▪ Do you try to impress other people and make them happy so that you can be happy?
▪ Do you often analyse other people’s lives?
▪ Do you get distressed by bad things that happen which are out of your control?
▪ Do you say and do what you think other people want you to say and do?
▪ Do you try to control other people’s behaviour so that you can feel okay?
▪ When an interaction with someone goes ‘wrong’ do you spend time analysing their actions, what they said and what they might be feeling and thinking?
▪ Do you find it difficult to speak up and confront an issue when you feel uncomfortable?
▪ Do you blame other people for the way you feel?
▪ Do other people’s moods bring your own mood down?
▪ Do you immediately think of someone else who needs this information more than you?
▪ Do you seek and listen to other people’s opinions rather than seeking and listening to your own?
▪ Do you obsess over saying the wrong thing or hurting someone else’s feelings?
▪ Do you hang on to people and situations even when it hurts, hoping they will change into something better?
▪ Do you often feel selfish, guilty or ‘what a waste of time’ when you do something nice for yourself?
▪ Do you often say ‘Yes’ when you really want to say ‘No’?
▪ Do you struggle to listen to your own feelings and go along with other people’s feelings?
▪ Do you give a lot of yourself to other people, even if they don’t ask, and then get upset when they don’t do the same in return?
▪ Do you try to fix or change other people to be who you want them to be?
▪ Do you try and help or fix others who don’t take responsibility for themselves?
▪ Do you tend to put everyone else’s needs before your own?
▪ Do you avoid taking charge of your own life, and / or creating your own happiness in the hope that someone will provide it for you?

For most of us, we didn’t learn how to communicate with reflective empathy, we just did what was modeled to us in our families. And if we never even bothered to do any personal growth work, mindfulness, healing and honest self-reflection, we are likely to be projecting our “stuff” on others unconsciously. We must really know our own histories, childhoods, relating patterns and what our own families have modeled to us. Are we aware of ethics and spiritual laws that may open us up to dark forces and predators? What agreements of entrapment are we actually holding onto without realizing its ramifications? I’m often astounded at how unaware many “normal seeming” people are, who have found themselves victim to psychopaths, supernatural predators and narcissists.

What prevents some people from true mutuality in friendships of respect? Could it be their refusal to be vulnerable to their own hearts and feelings? Are they rigidly holding onto denial and illusions, making you wrong so they don’t have to grow up? Are they trying to control you with their version of what they think “reality” is, while marginalizing your worth and freedom? Do they play fair in relationships so that compassionate communication can even happen? Do they have value systems that marginalize compassionate communication and reflective empathy? Is their own blind spots and psychological defenses causing cold, insensitive behaviors that hurt you? We need to also ask ourselves if we do these kinds of things to others as well.

Perhaps we must ask how much we value our own souls, and choosing what we want to be connected with. Do we really want to experience the truth of REALITY?

 
That Mystery Called Love

I found myself having ahas! when listening to the mystic, Thomas De Mello. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pNb_tYuHfY&index=69&list=PL9285D44ED7F7B18B)

The ever present desire and need for LOVE is a consistent topic of discussion everywhere. So many people want to experience true love, feel more loved, love more. Contrary to what we tend to assume, adoration does not lead to love, reality, life or truth. Love is generated through awareness of what is REAL.

Thomas De Mello says, “If you wish to Love, You must learn to see again. You must give up your drug.” These ‘drugs’ is a term for all our psychological defenses, distractions, co-dependent addictions or whatever you do to avoid your uncomfortable feelings. Love actually comes through awareness. It comes from dropping the illusions and obstructions to pure perception. Love is the essence of REALITY and your own eternal spiritual beingness.

(See: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWGnV4eFCbM&list=PL9285D44ED7F7B18B&index=68)

Wisdom has always been more about what illusions we are willing to let go of. Dropping your masks and pretenses. It is the same for love. As Thomas De Mello says simply,

The unobstructed heart and mind is love and wisdom. Understand the obstruction and obstacles and they will drop. Turning on the light of awareness. Happiness is not something you acquire or produce or have. Love is something that has you! “

In practice and with time, you surrender to it when you are aware of your illusions, addictions, desires and fears. It is a gradual process of tearing away those conditioned “assumptions” and attachments we have clung to, oftentimes without even knowing how we did it. These “mind control programs” and clinging desires are like sticky tentacles latching onto us, creating a “tar baby” effect. (See: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tar-Baby)

In aloneness, where we can be in enough solitude to be aware of and let go of these clinging dependencies, it will be like a cold turkey death. If you can be alone not having the company of people, and be emotionally dependent on them anymore to feel special, adored, appreciated, you will become free. You can be in the midst of people, and enjoy their company but they will no longer have any power over you, to make you happy or miserable. Your dependence on them dies and your capacity to love is born. Why? Because you no longer see others as the means to satisfy your addictions and dependencies.

There can be a terror in this kind of aloneness, it is like dying. There could be withdrawal symptoms, like a dark pit of emptiness. When you have let go of your own need to control someone else, need them to “love you” or be special to anyone you are getting it. If you can get to this point, you will at last know. You will be able to perceive with a vision that is clear and unclouded by fears or desires. Then you can truly love. But you must go through the pains of loss, letting go of addictions, illusions and be utterly alone before this can happen.

Dependence dies and your capacity to love is born. Why—because you no longer see others as the means to satisfy your addictions or narcissistic supply!

No, I don’t think it means being a saint or an advanced yogi who retreats to meditate in caves for years on end. It is a quality of intention with awareness, humbleness, and the dedication to see things through because you are sick and tired of hurting all the time. When you are sick of the pain, the endless recycling of misery, the ridiculous control systems by idiotic predator psychopaths, you will come to a place where enough is enough. Taking personal responsibility means creating the option for freedom, and true happiness. Being in the world but not of it.

But first, we actually have to come to respect our own spiritual heart. Any deep truths and feelings we buried. We must realize the greatest violence to our own being is self-abandonment. It is this self-abandonment that causes the feelings of loneliness, hurt, sorrow and disconnectedness from REALITY.

To paraphrase what Thomas De Mello said,

“You must cultivate ceaseless awareness, patience and compassion as you would have for a drug addict. Develop taste for good things in life, pure, simple, things. Work, laughter, intimacy with people to whom you do not cling or who you depend emotionally, but whose company you enjoy. Activities you can do with your whole being, while engaged in them. Success or recognition don’t mean a thing to you. It will help if you return to nature. Mountains—silently commune with trees, animals, flowers, birds, clouds, sky and stars etc. Spiritual exercise to gaze at things, to be aware of things around you. The world will drop, concepts will drop and you will see and you will make contact with reality. That is the cure for lonliness. We usually seek to cure our loneliness through our emotional dependence on people, distractions, noise. Get back to nature. Then you will know your heart has brought you to the vast desert of solitude. No one there to depend on. At first it is unbearable because you are unaccustomed to aloneness. Stick it out, the desert will blossom into love, your heart will burst into song. It will be springtime forever. Drug is gone, you are free. Then you will understand what freedom is, love is, happiness, what REALITY is. Truth is, what GOD is.”

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWGnV4eFCbM&list=PL9285D44ED7F7B18B&index=68)
Our next panel discussion we want to address the concepts of the Matrix engineers using polarity “choices” for neutralization, soul corruption and harvesting strategies. What we need to be doing and letting go of in order to take responsibility for dealing with our SH**. What happens if we choose to ignore the wisdom of our own Source connected Spirit.

Useful blog and links for PTSD Recovery: http://www.new-synapse.com/aps/wordpress/?p=1022

Updated Declaration of Non-Consent for Interference from Laura Leon’s web site: http://www.sovereignkees.com/non-consent-declaration.html

When Triggering Happens: Psychological Defenses

The difficulties many anomalous trauma survivors have is the ability to respond calmly, rationally, or appropriately when we are triggered in a post-traumatic-stress, hyper-vigilant state. It is like being a deer caught in the headlights, frozen with fear, feeling endangered and powerless in that moment. Or any number of other reactions that may be over sensitive, hostile, passive or even programmed responses of denial. How many times have we replayed some incident over and over in our heads of all the “could have, should have, said or done this or that”, but didn’t, because we were so triggered! Then the self-doubt, shame or blaming projections we make after the fact, and yet when these incidents happen again, we seem to fall into the same patterns over and over again!

Recognizing this when it’s occurring is the first step. This may require we take a “time out” before reacting in a certain situation. Finding time to calm down, center, process this with a mentor, until learning how to respond differently the next time it happens. Because it will.

Much of the time however, we may react unconsciously with certain psychological defenses that may not be as intense as the PTSD triggered reactions, but are maladaptive in our adult years. And these things tend to work together, where our deeply engrained modes of behaving and “defenses” actually can re-create patterns and situations where the extreme triggering keeps happening.

We need to find time and permission to be still, reflect and assess the reality of the situation. Then set time aside to safely process and share experiences with a safe person or group. We rarely can do this alone successfully, because our conditioning and traumas themselves can create blind spots. Sometimes this self-reflection doesn’t happen until a crisis forces us to look at it. But if we wait or put off our own recovery process, we are likely to bring on more pain, problems and suffering not only for ourselves but for others who are close to us.

The most challenging part is rebuilding the foundation of new beliefs and healthy behaviors. Things like like assertiveness and compassionate communication skills, and practicing this in a safe circle of people over time.

Many of us want to feel safe and “good”, but do this to the point of avoidance behaviors (or addictions) so that we neglect practicing new skills which we really need. I’ve often heard victims who are stuck in learned helplessness mode, whose defense mechanism is yet another form of blaming projection. They may make statements like, “You’re not validating me!” or the incessant, “Yes, but…” whenever reflection of their own situation and how to start changing it, is brought up. At some point it must be realized that in recovery and healing mode, there will be some discomfort. Part of the personal growth, healing to wholeness process requires that we feel what is present inside, what and how this gets triggered– like shame, humiliation, sadness, rage, etc. in a structured, process-oriented environment.

Below I have gathered some excerpts from useful articles by therapists on relevant topics encountered on the healing and recovery path.

For example, when we have the complication of recovery from trauma and addictions, it’s important to address the both issues.

Demanding Comfort:

“Demanding Comfort in your recovery is not realistic. This is a common trap – “change should be easy and comfortable, or there is something terribly wrong.” First of all, it is important for you to remember that the patterns you want to change are probably not that comfortable either. Life while using and drinking was often very painful. Second, the truth is that change requires thought and practice to become a new habit. Third, change cannot come through automatic pilot, it comes by living consciously, manually, intentionally accepting yourself and others as becoming. Fourth, the more you allow yourself to feel good about small steps towards your goals, the deeper your changes become. New Program allows you to enjoy healthy steps forward and feel good about learning from steps backward.”

http://www.cairforyou.com/alchoholdrugs/alcoholdemanding.htm
Character Changes Caused by Addiction:

http://www.cairforyou.com/alchoholdrugs/alcoholcharacter.htm

This is an insightful article on how addiction caused the “two-year-old injured child” to run the show in addictions. It stresses the importance of doing the inner child work which is part of sobriety, so that a healthy response to ill feelings of shame are not repressed, and instead worked through with adult coping skills.

Perceptual Filters:

Our perceptions are filtered through our beliefs and assumptions, our internal dialogue (thoughts) and images, our physiological and behavioral responses, and our emotions. All of these interact to form a filter through which we experience the world. In the process of growing up in an unsafe environment, we make many decisions about ourselves, and the world outside of us.”

http://www.cairforyou.com/alchoholdrugs/alcoholfilters.htm
Assuming Feelings are Fact:

This article is an eye opener showing how our own perceptual filters can create distorted emotional reactions to “reality”. This is often amplified when in an active addiction causes amplified or repressed emotional responses.

“Imagine what impact your alcohol and drug use has had on your perceptual filters. Alcohol is a depressant which impacts depending on dose. At mild levels, alcohol filters your experience as more relaxed and confident. At a higher level, alcohol can trigger a variety of strong emotional reactions: anger, resentment, maudlin, “best friends” sloppy drunk reactions, etc. The feelings that come up while you are drinking and using drugs are not an accurate reflection of your feelings, but rather perceptual filters created by chemicals. The old saying: “What you say when you are drunk is what you really feel” is an absolute lie!”

http://www.cairforyou.com/alchoholdrugs/alcoholfeelings.htm

Powerful Words:

“Notice the kinds of words you are using to describe yourself and others. Listen to the words used in describing the situation. Do you notice flashlight judgmental statements or grace-filled lantern statements that shine with respect and valuing at the entire scene, including you. Keep coming back to this filter as you grow, to deepen your appreciation of the power of words.
There is a profound (subtle) difference between saying “I should quit drinking and using drugs” and “I choose to make my life more manageable by embracing a sober lifestyle.” Over the years of coaching recovering clients, those who allowed themselves to see their identity as “becoming” in their sobriety were the ones who gained quality sobriety and recovery. Those who held to the belief that “I have to quit drinking” usually had to battle a lifetime of resentment and feeling deprived.”

http://www.cairforyou.com/alchoholdrugs/alcoholwords.htm
Developing Self-Esteem:

“When we grow up with distorted mirrors we learn to survive at any cost. We learn rules to help survive. These rules may includes such things as “be nice at all times”, “don’t cause problems”, “don’t get close”, “don’t get mad”, “the invisible”, “don’t outshine dad”, “always put others first”, etc. These rules are usually not stated directly, but we know better than to break them. It is not take tragic war stories to create deep wounds in our self-esteem and character. It is in additional burden on we feel that we have no right to be wounded because we cannot point to dramatic scenes in our families.”

http://www.cairforyou.com/alchoholdrugs/alcoholdevelopselfesteem.htm

Emotional Repression and Memory Loss

Oftentimes with those who have amnesia or poor memories of their childhood, they don’t really understand the full spectrum of their history. They may feel like they really haven’t had “that bad of a childhood”. It’s not about whether it’s good or bad , it’s the reality of repression, habitual defenses and taking on beliefs (or deliberate programming) which has affected self-esteem and healthy coping, affecting interpersonal relationships and many other parameters in their lives.

The aspect of learning to be present, self-connection in the heart and developing an integrated, rational mind requires a safety first. Building self-esteem also involves re-learning skills that many of us never learned as children or even adults. We must start first in a place of non judgement, and corrective supportive interaction.

Sometimes this process of “recovery” requires individual therapy, especially during trauma resolution, emotional processing and deep inner child work. At some point, it is necessary to interact in a group so that one can learn interpersonal interaction, communication skills and appropriate self expression. When in a group we can do this while operating within a structured reflective environment that is safe, and yet can provide “reality checks” of constructive criticism and confrontation, if necessary.

Defense Mechanisms that Affect Relationships

http://www.byregion.net/articles-healers/Defense_Mechanisms.html

“Repression is a defense mechanism first described by Sigmund Freud, as a way that people keep unpleasant memories out of their conscious mind. Repression is a compensatory style that deals with threat and stress by blocking unpleasant emotional experiences that might bring up anxiety, distress and vulnerability. Being split off from feelings is called alexithymia. Repressors have a chronic inaccessible filter that keeps them from experiencing the world through their emotions. They feel attacked and then distance and isolate from others when they are stressed. They avoid talking about and rehashing unpleasant experiences as this adds to their stress. They become inaccessible to others when they feel the problem has been solved by their solution of dismissing it. They are conflict avoidant and cannot tolerate working things out to the satisfaction of their partner. They often deny that there is a problem and have a lack of insight about how their distancing bothers others.”

Narcissism and grandiosity:

“People with severe narcissistic traits long for ideal love that will take care of their fragile sense of self and give them unconditional love. The yearning for getting unconditional love is a unresolved need left over from childhood. Most adults realize unconditional love would be nice. It rarely happens as people we love usually hold us accountable for our actions in some way. People with narcissistic traits distort their self image (again in fantasy to believe that they are superior to others). They think too well of themselves as a defense to cover up their sense of shame deep within. Grandiosity is a distortion which prevents them from blaming themselves and becoming depressed or disintegrated.”

Fantasy thinking:

“Fantasy is an attempt to process information, emotions and unresolved pain to make up for what they did not have in childhood. They place unrealistic demands on others to make them feel better. J. S. Bernstein defined this defense as a person’s “Learning to feel no way but good and to demand success when he did not feel good.” They cannot tolerate negative emotional distress and turn it on others (project) by saying they are bad. They insist on having things their own way which is an unreal attitude that sets others off against them. When they don’t get what they want, they feel devalued. Since they cannot tolerate the feelings of fear, hurt, anxiety, helplessness and despair, they defend against them. They deny and rationalize their own contribution to the problems to preserve their own internal fantasy of being all good and right.They also suffer from the Repressor and Projection defenses described above. Narcissistic people always are Repressors, but not all Repressors are Narcissistic.”

Antidote:
The antidote to narcissistic behavior is to understand how the defenses work, identify and correct the errors in thinking and learn to tolerate frustration, anxiety, sadness and shame. By learning to be straight first with the self, and then with others, these unhealthy defense can be lessened. Then the person can learn to live in the world of reality even though it hurts at times instead of turning to a fantasy which can never be gained.”
Assertiveness and Compassionate Communication Links:

http://stress.about.com/od/relationships/ht/howtoassert.htm

http://www.listeningway.com/cctutorial-1.html

http://www.listeningway.com/cctutorial-1.html#Steps

EL: Living consciously with positive intentions for wholeness, truth, and essential goodness requires mindfulness and practice. Learning how to communicate clearly, with compassion, assertiveness and finesse requires diligent practice, courage, and building a circle of safe relationships. It starts now, one person at a time.

 

Empathy and the Power of Reflective Listening

Empathy is a give and take process. Most of us can admit we need more empathy and acceptance from others, especially if we have healing to do on many levels. But the truth is, that if we are undernourished in our own emotional lives, overstressed and feeling like a victim to circumstances, we have difficulty offering real empathy to others.

We have to remember that when we have been in a long term state of psychological or physical trauma, the first step to healing is to listen to ourselves deep inside. Sometimes this means enough solitude to do self-reflection in the heart, in our bodies and really listen. Really feel. And this can be scary and uncomfortable.

What often happens in long term trauma is a tendency to “shut down” and repress ones true feelings so habitually that the focus is usually on external things, physical health, defenses and addictions, other people or circumstances–often in a negative fashion. Such as constant drama, relationship problems, unhappiness with the job, the family, the government, anything and everything that takes the focus off of ones real feelings related to deeply personal emotional wounding. This can manifest itself as the victimization process that repeats itself so much, that the lines get blurred on how and why the trauma keeps happening.

It is necessary to pause long enough to calm the mind, the body and the emotions, so that we can really do some self-reflection on what is truly happening inside, not outside ourselves.  It starts with the INTENTION of taking personal responsibility for healing on whatever level necessary for your own situation and life. This is how we take our power back.

Once we are able to really be present with what we are feeling in the moment from experience to experience, we are more able to be fully present for others empathically, resulting in deeper, authentic connectedness in relationships.

In this article by Marshal Rosenberg entitled, “Sustaining Empathy

http://www.listeningway.com/marshall-empathy1.html

(which is a chapter of his book on Non-Violent Communication), Rosenberg describes typical reactive responses that people often make to those who are in pain—offering judgements or quick solutions and fix-it answers. In compassionate communication the four pillars of this process are: Observations, Feelings, Needs and Requests. Even though a significant part of Compassionate Communication is “Requests”, the listener of this empathic process really needs to focus more on the empathic process of the feelings and needs portion of self-discovery.

Just being able to recognize our true feelings and needs in any given moment or experience is necessary for our true insight within to guide our own process of healing. Such taking responsibility in feeling and self-awareness is necessary before we can truly change our circumstances in life.

At some point in the process of personal growth, we come to realize that we can only be truly empathically present with others to the degree that we are in touch with ourselves. Personal growth is a process that takes time and maturity and has been described by psychotherapist Carl Rogers to occur in stages. He called these the Seven Stages of Process which lead to deeper self-connection. This process itself is solely based on receiving and giving empathy.

http://www.listeningway.com/gpc-gpr-connections.html

The process of a deeper connection to our authentic “self”  eventually leads to a more continuous, receptive way of being. There becomes a freer flow of energy and a dynamic, fluidic way of being that allows a greater freedom of giving and receiving love.

 

Sobriety, Recovery and New Social Skills

Contributed by editor and writer Melissa Hall.
 

Recovering From Recovery – Learning To Socialize With Sobriety

In a typical Hollywood setup, a character admitting to an addiction problem and entering a recovery program is viewed as the end of the story – the self-realization and transformation around which all stories turn, and the precipitant of the ‘happy ending’. In real life, it doesn’t work out quite like that. While admitting to addiction and making a commitment to change is certainly a pivotal moment in your transformation into the person you feel you should be, it is not an end in itself. The process of recovery is complex and ongoing – and it involves a lot of coming to terms with who you are and how you must be from now on. One of the major hurdles which any recovering addict must overcome is that of shame. While any addict must take a certain amount of responsibility for their actions, and feel a measure of remorse for them, feelings of intense shame relating to one’s addiction have been proven to exacerbate rather than diminish the chances of relapse occurring [1]. To recover successfully, an addict needs to own and assimilate their past. One of the areas of life in which problems arise with this process of assimilation is during social time with friends and family.

Coming To Terms

Admitting to an addiction is difficult. Often, one’s addiction doesn’t just encompass the substance itself, but is intrinsically wrapped up in the entire life of the sufferer. Given the place of alcohol in our society [2], this is most true for alcoholics. Admitting to an alcohol addiction does not just mean giving up alcohol – it may mean giving up (or feeling like you must give up) your entire social circle and way of life. It is frequently the case that other people may come to the realization that an addict has a problem before they do – and even when they are told of the concerns of others they may well brush them off. Admitting to oneself that one has an addiction is thus a major part of the recovery process, and this step may well come long after one’s nearest and dearest are well aware of the problem. However, introducing one’s recovering state to one’s wider social circle is a different story. One may well feel that one has come to personal terms with one’s state as a recovering addict – but when it comes to telling other people, a whole lot of unresolved issues can emerge.

Being In Control

Often, an addict will feel intense shame and discomfort when disclosing their addicted status. Such feelings, as already discussed, can prompt relapse, so it is important to choose the context of any disclosure very carefully. While honesty is undoubtedly always the best policy, you must also feel in control of your status as a recovering addict, and confident and comfortable about disclosing such a personal piece of information. Given that many addicts already have problems with feelings of powerlessness and lack of control [3], and may well experience increased emotional turbulence in the early stages of recovery [4] it is absolutely imperative that an addict is not made to feel powerless, out of control, and shamed because of their recovering status with others. For many, admitting to being in recovery is tantamount to admitting to being a societal failure – it’s admitting to being an out-of-control addict, which society frowns upon. In fact, admitting to being in recovery is admitting to being strong and controlled enough to face up to yourself and defeat your demons. That’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of.

Owning Your Addiction

Admittedly, societal attitudes towards addiction really do not help people to make a calm, collected, and unabashed declaration of their status and intent to recover. Given that we demonize addicts [5] to a disproportionate degree, it can be hard for people to accept that their friend (who may well not in their eyes fit the stereotypical ‘addict’ image we’re led to expect) is really having problems. It’s not at all uncommon for alcoholics to be told that they’re over exaggerating their case, that they don’t have to give up completely, that they’re really not as bad as they think they are, that they should not refer to themselves as alcoholics and so forth [6]. None of this, for obvious reasons, is particularly helpful. On the other hand, people may start to view their recovering addict friend with suspicion and trepidation – as though they’ve become a different person, when in fact they’re the same old friend that they’ve known and loved. The only difference is that they’re trying to make an active improvement to their life. If others reject one’s intent to recover and try to pressure one into using again, or make them feel like a shameful demon, and if one cannot convince them of the reality of the situation then – hard though it may be – it is probably time to move on from that group of friends and find people who will be supportive of one’s recovery without shaming one for their past. Recovery is something to be proud of, and it should not involve having to completely blot out one’s past and personality. In order to truly recover, an addict needs to be in control of their recovery, which means being in control and comfortable with disclosing one’s recovering status. Social disclosure can be one of the hardest parts of recovery, and should not, therefore, be done in the wrong context. However, if it’s done correctly, with confidence and ownership of one’s past and future, to people with whom one feels safe and supported by, then it can be a greatly empowering step forward.

[1] Maia Szalavitz, “Being Ashamed of Drinking Prompts Relapse, Not Recovery”, Time, Feb 2013

[2] Social Issues Research Center, “Social and Cultural Aspects Of Drinking”

[3] Rita Milios, “Control Freak: How to Stop Trying to Change Your World and Change Yourself Instead”, Recovery.org, Jun 2015

[4] H.C. Fox, K.A. Hong, R Sinha, “Difficulties in emotion regulation and impulse control in recently abstinent alcoholics compared with social drinkers”, Yale University, 2008

[5] Matthew B Stanbrook, “Addiction is a disease: We must change our attitudes towards addicts”, CMAJ, Feb 2012

[6] Rachael Lander, “How Not To Be A Dick To Your Recovering Alcoholic Friend”, XOJane, Apr 2013

Love in Secret

I was moved to share yet another video clip of Jonathan Adamapants on the topic of “Loving in Secret”.

Part of the power of emotional intelligence actually arises out of the desire to love and be loved, yet with a humility that is of the Creative Spirit of Love, rather than “ego”. It’s not that “ego” is bad, it’s just that ego-personality and “mind programs and false beliefs” get in the way of the true power of the Creative Spirit of love and power to work through you.

When we operate primarily through the ego personality complex, that is lacking in purity of intention to love, this is when the Satanic forces of the Archontic Mind parasites take over.

This is the essence of what this video clip discusses:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihTOTpbFtHw

  • How Satanic mind works through people (aka Archontic mind parasite takeover). How creative spirit working should be spontaneous, otherwise it gets hijacked by the “other”.
  • People are programmed to work against each other. Creative spirit works best spontaneously. “Love in secret”.
  • What is your intent? Do you want to be known for being loving? Is it an ego thing? Are you doing this to increase your business or for networking? If you truly want to fix a problem, do it in secret.
  • Raise the spirit of love in secret.  It raises up the love in others, secretly. Love is the highest intelligence. Don’t seek rewards (or to be seen as “loving” or the best guru or teacher or whatever.  Or it’s gets controlled by Satan.
  • Planning an event or ritual usually gets hijacked. Like religion, its already hijacked.
  •  If intentions are mixed in with ego or other selfish motives then it will be hijacked by dark forces.  You can’t try to coordinate with them in this realm. Love them in secret. Love raises the spirit inside of them. You don’t have to “try to love them”.

It’s really about your intention and purity of love in humility. Plain and simple. Then creative spirit of love does the “job”. Pray for the love of Creative Spirit and be open for it to work through you. Whether your mind understands it or not. That is what prayer is.

In a future article I will write more on the importance of emotional intelligence and safe relationship, so that true healing and Creative Spirit empowerment in you can take place. The more we can connect with the “Creative Spirit” and see how it communicates with us, the more we will know “who can be trusted and when”, so that safe relationship can happen for us.

 

Soul Mates, Twin Flames or Love Bite?

This Article appeared on Wake Up World Website on 11/29/014

http://wakeup-world.com/2014/11/29/soul-mates-twin-flame-or-love-bite/

Soul Mates, Twin Flame or Love Bite?

By Eve Lorgen 11/26/014

Have you ever had a love connection with someone so strong, you believed they could be your soul mate or even a twin flame? Did this person who you thought to be “the One”, arrive with a magical sense of reality, powerful psychic connections, super sexual chemistry, de ja vus, omens and supernatural overtones?

Perhaps you feel mystically connected on a deeper soul level, and yet there seems to be a dangerousness about it. The passion may be unstoppable if you cross that line. Longing and passion builds as telltale signs appear that he or she must be “the One”.

A love drama unfolds with emotional highs, crashing lows and perhaps even paranormal activity. You find yourself doing things that you have never done with other partners. You take greater risks that may be out of character for you. The love affair becomes erratic, obsessive or unable to consummate . It is as if you and your lover are being buffeted around by unseen forces from one exhausting drama to the next. It feels surreal, and orchestrated as if it is influenced from the beyond. Or maybe it goes like this:

The meeting could be accidental, in an unusual place or situation for you. But somehow, something magically happens that creates an opportunity. Perhaps you sense a premonition, energetic feelings that seem to happen out of the blue. Then your eyes meet.

There is a sense of familiarity, as if you already know this strange new person, perhaps from another place or time. Yet, you can’t seem to place it. The locked gaze, the sensation of butterflies swirling in your stomach, the feeling of excitement, anxiety, and perhaps even danger all lurk inside you. You can barely contain the sense that something big is happening.

Maybe he or she asks you something that was on your mind, just as you were going to speak it. “Have we met before? You seem familiar.” A few moments pass, and maybe you experience a feeling of déjà vu. Perhaps you recall a recent dream when you saw the face of your could-be lover. He or she is wearing the same color that appeared in your dream, or perhaps appears in a familiar scene. You now feel that the dream was some sort of divine precognitive foreshadowing. Your dream lover has come to life.

Your senses feel heightened, more alive. Those zingy, tingly, warm, and fuzzy feelings in your body seem to be resonating with this other person. Did you just meet The One? Your soul mate? Is this a sign that this person is about to enter center stage in your life? You exchange phone numbers and email. Next time you meet, you talk about things that you thought no one would ever really share with you, much less understand. You seem to have so much in common. Perhaps the person is not normally your type, yet inexplicably you share a powerful connection. The erotic fantasies begin. Somehow they feel so much more real. Why is that?

From deep inside, however, you feel a subtle hint of push-pull resistance. Your inner voice tries to check in with you, but you squash it like a bug. Your logical mind may question all this, but the lonely part of you can’t stop wanting excitement, a rescue from that hopeless feeling that you’ll never have true love and will always settle for less. You want to experience passion and love that you’ve never really known before. You fight both sides of yourself as if you’ve been split into two people. Confusion sets in, and you just can’t stop thinking about that person.

The Love Connection Begins and Cupid’s Drama Unfolds

A series of magical phone calls, texting, emailing, and meetings begin. Perhaps you are compelled to drive long distances or even go across the country to meet with your newfound lover-to-be. The energies of excitement build, and you can’t stop thinking about him or her, and especially about when you can have more time together to really connect, touch. Merge.

You never felt such a powerful connection with someone; it’s almost telepathic with supernatural overtones. You finish each other’s sentences, buy similar things at the store, find yourself wearing the same colors, and even eating the same food when not in each others’ presence, and at the same times.

That first kiss sends electrical thrills that zip right down to your erogenous zones. It’s almost like you’ve been zapped by Cupid’s arrow! You kiss again, deeply. It happens so easily, so fast. Sex feels so natural and connected. You find yourself doing things you didn’t do with other partners. You feel less inhibited and the creative juices flow. You take greater risks that may be out of character for you. You push away confusion and the inner red-flag voice flailing to be heard because, you say to yourself, “Yes! I’m going to follow my heart. I want passion!”

Now the roller coaster drama begins, and your life turns upside down. He or she makes you feel on top of the world, desired, cherished, and important. Events seem magically to unfold as though a divine script were being written that has pierced through the wall of your lonely heart. You are on a blissful high.

Yet it doesn’t last. Something happens. At some point, where you once felt excitement and passion, you wonder why you begin to feel weak and a little drained. Maybe your partner reveals a dark side. Emotional manipulation starts to unveil. Is your partner deliberately manipulating you like an emotional vampire, or does it just seem like it? You don’t want to believe it. The emotional crashing lows begin, and you start to feel that events are unfolding out of your control. Your partner’s full attention and presence seem to be out of your reach, and your life becomes an endless chase of unconsummated love.

Eventually, unrequited love pangs tear at your heart as you and your lover are buffeted about in one drama after another. In time, you become an emotional wreck. Confusion sets in and it seems as though every time you get near Cupid’s lover, you become weaker. You feel sucked dry of your emotions, logic, and better sense. What happened?”

This passage is an excerpt from my book, “The Dark Side of Cupid: Love Affairs, the Supernatural and Energy Vampirism”. (http://www.amazon.com/The-Dark-Side-Cupid-Supernatural/dp/0967799546) I was inspired to write this book after more than 15 years of research and counseling people with anomalous trauma. It usually revolved around those who have had paranormal experiences, and other dimensional visitations such as alien abductions. I discovered inadvertently through those who had multiple alien visitation histories, that they also exhibited an unusual kind of tagging by their “hyperdimensional watchers”. These watchers had a means to pre-bond them to their future love partners, or to manipulate their relationships so that they would marry or meet a particular lover, often with an obsessive, deep, soul connected quality. But then something else occurred which showed blatant forms of what I call “emotional and psychic vampirism”. Instead of a long lasting soul mate kind of experience, it took the form of a high drama,  supernatural connection, that was endlessly being interfered with, so that a harmonious sacred love connection was hijacked or disrupted for some other purpose.

One partner would be switched off psychically, and leave the other person in a state of unrequited love. Or one partner was somehow overshadowed by a “third party entity” such as a “reptilian” or other non-human inter-dimensional entity that used the ”hosted” partner as a portal for psychic and sexual energy feeding. A kind of “middleman” psychic vampire, energy harvesting operation. It was as if an invisible predatory force was literally using the love obsessed couple as a source of energy or entertainment.

Sometimes the paranormal interference came in the form of a definite third party entity, that was witnessed by one or both partners. For example an alien grey, reptilian, mantis, ET , spirit or demon of some sort. This interference could occur surrounding the relationship itself, and yet remain unseen, but leave the sense that the couple is being watched or manipulated in a perverse kind of theatrical drama.

Red Flags of a Dark Side of Cupid Connection

To distinguish these kinds of love relationships from “normal kinds of relationship issues” I devised a number of Red Flags for a Dark Side of Cupid Relationship:

  •  – Dreams of the partner before meeting them, suggesting something precognitive.
  • – Physical sensations in the solar plexus, genital, gut or other body areas, such as neck, heart, and between the shoulders.
  • – Astral sex visitations and/or telesthesia — sensing the energy body in a sexual way and very physically, as if another being were present but invisible.
  • – Strong psychic connection, even though you may not really love your partner.
  • – Powerful sexual passion and obsessive need to have sex, even in cases in which you don’t love the partner or they don’t love you and/or are abusive.
  • – Psychic responses and coincidences from either partner, like receiving a phone call or email from your partner the moment you think about cutting off the connection.
  • – A sense of emotional or physical draining.
  • – One partner becoming suddenly switched off emotionally or “psychically unplugged.”
  • – Feelings of being watched, or being played like puppets in some drama-myth.
  • – Paranormal activity, third party “entity” visits or attacks, sudden dreams, visions and thoughts as if implanted.
  • – Obsessive thoughts that are not usual for either partner
  • – Synchronicities, omens, and a feeling of being in a magical reality.

The Unholy Triad of the Dark Side of Cupid

To simplify the dynamics of these Dark Cupid love affairs. I put together three main categories of characteristics of these forged connections: The Unholy Triad of the Dark Side of Cupid. If two of the three main sets of symptoms were present, then that relationship is most likely a “Love Bite/Dark Cupid” connection. The Unholy Triad is:

  1. Magical or Supernatural Elements
  2. Emotional Highs and Crashing Lows and/or Signs of Energy Draining
  3. Emotional Manipulation and the Psychopathology Element

If only the magical and supernatural elements are present without the other two elements, then that relationship could very well be a true soul mate or twin flame connection. But it really is two of the three elements noted and especially the third aspect of manipulation and psychopathology that is the tell tale sign, this relationship is being manipulated.

Oftentimes this psychopathology aspect manifests as a narcissistic quality or borderline personality disorder, a Dr. Jeckyl/Mr. Hyde kind of persona that can leave the love bitten person utterly bewildered, resulting in unimaginable hurt and unbearable grief. If you’ve ever read about narcissistic abuse and the aftermath of this kind of crazy-making relationship, then you can get an idea of the utter shock and emotional devastation that this kind of “manipulated relationship” can bring.

Some readers may pause now and rationalize that this is simply a poor relationship choice with an emotionally abusive, personality disordered person. But I assure you, it is really not that simple. These things can co-exist in a “Dark Cupid” relationship, but the true sign is the paranormal anomalies that eventually manifest during this kind of relationship. I have described these kinds of relationships in detail in my book from the perspective of a clairvoyant “bird’s eye view”, and in easily recognizable interpersonal psychology dynamics. What I discovered was really a sign of sexual and psychic energy vampirism that is mediated through some sort of other dimensional predatory beings.

It was only apparent when so many witnesses over the years came forward who had “extrasensory faculties” and actually saw these other dimensional beings overshadowing or lurking around them or their “partner”.(http://evelorgen.com/wp/news/french-clairvoyants-perception-of-reptilian-hosting/). Some could perceive cords of energy linking them and their partner and another entity such as a “reptilian”. Others had distinct solar plexus sensations and even grinding pain, after linking up with their “possessed partner”. Some were perceptive enough to actually see in visions and dreams how they were being set up in magic love spells cast by a sorcerer or witch. Some love bite experiencers had these kinds of relationships several times, and seemed to be plagued by a “familiar spirit”, “alien watcher” or bloodline curse that affected them and everyone in their family.

And yet I have consulted with people who do not fall into the “anomalous trauma” category of alien abductions or a regular “paranormal experiencer” kind of person and yet had a full-blown, Dark Cupid love connection that hurt them in ways that defied rational explanation. One witness, who has gone public with his testimony,(

http://veilofreality.com/2014/11/22/the-dark-side-of-cupid-hyperdimensional-interferences-in-love-relationships/) admitted that the love bite relationships only happened after he had published serious research on “UFO’s, Alien Contact and Spiritual Conspiracy Topics”.

 

The Power of Sacred Love and Twin Flames

 

I have also come to hypothesize that there are some “other dimensional forces” which seek to destroy true, sacred love and especially the meeting and consummation of twin flame relationships. Sacred love, sexuality and the alchemical transformation of male/female “shakti” energies is a very powerful thing. In some cultures in India for example, the entire reason for Jeevan Mukti yogic practice is to become enlightened when one successfully unites with their twin flame Ardhanishwara. (http://evelorgen.com/wp/news/twin-flames-liberation-and-enlightenment-from-a-vedic-perspective-interview-with-indian-pranic-healer-and-love-bite-experiencer-kailasnath/)

In ancient Greek culture the Hieros Gamos (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hieros_gamos) is the same kind of mystical union between twin flame souls, resulting in great transformation, even Gnosis and enlightenment. In Tibetan Buddhism we have Annuttara yoga tantra. In Taoist Chi Gong there are alchemical sexual practices both internal and external for the purpose of greater spiritual awareness and immortality. (http://www.healingtaousa.com/faq_taoist_sexual_practice.html) In all of these practices true love is essential or transformation to higher consciousness.

In Taoist myth as well as other myths around the world, humans were once androgynous, but then the genders were split, due to some kind of “fall from grace”. In  the Greek myth told by Aristophanes (http://www.connellodonovan.com/hen.html) the split arose as a punishment from the  “gods” because they became “jealous” and feared humans having too much power in their androgynous state. And so the primordial, androgynous human was split into two souls and placed into different gendered bodies. I personally believe this gender split is much more complex than the extant ancient writings tell us and can even involve some kind of extraterrestrial genetic engineering such as is hypothesized in the Wes Penre Papers.

http://wespenre.com/4/PDF/WesPenreFourthLevelOfLearning%28EntireLevel–Papers1-17andAppendixPaperA%29031014.pdf

Many of my clients have wondered why it took so long to “get over” a love bite relationship, even if it was short lived. Some think that their lover is being deliberately oppressed and manipulated by dark spiritual forces so that their true twin flame connection cannot be experienced or consummated. It is as if the couple—or one partner—is being held “hostage” by these predatory prison wardens of humanity. When one partner “switches off” or is really being manipulated to reject the true love union, it’s also known as the “twin flame runner syndrome”. Although I wonder if some therapists of these unusual soul mate connections really know what may be going on behind the scenes.

Could these relationships be salvaged into harmonious, blissful and powerful unions with “regular relationship counseling”? Modalities like compassionate communication and applying the relationship gender understandings of John Gray (Men are from Mars, Women from Venus series) are immensely supportive. These systems can help, but the real hurdle is usually getting both partners to even agree to any kind of therapy. Oftentimes one partner is too proud, fearful or downright arrogant to even admit to something “strange” going on and refuses to engage willingly into any kind of therapeutic work. I contend that there is much more to these kinds of paranormally influenced love connections, and we must find healing therapies that really work. In The Dark Side of Cupid I offer psychological and paranormal intervention strategies to help the broken hearted heal from these extraordinarily painful and baffling relationships. The best strategy and protection from a “dark Cupid” relationship is awareness that this even exists.

I believe it is true that knowledge is power. But there is something else even greater and that is sacred love. Sacred love should be protected, nurtured and valued above all things on heaven and Earth. It is truly a mystery…that apparently other dimensional beings since ancient times have wanted to hijack, mimic, exploit and corrupt. This is the war of all wars.

 

And I believe we do have a choice in the matter. We are not powerless!

Safe Relationships, Good Character and Spiritual Discernment

By Eve Lorgen, M.A.

Why is it that when we start to awaken spiritually, relationships can be more challenging?  Are the belief systems we hold about love, God and good relationship really true? Have you been led to believe that to be giving, open and loving backfired on you after having repeated hurtful experiences with unsafe people?

You are not alone. There are probably millions of people wondering why their most cherished beliefs, hopes and dreams about love and good relationship just don’t seem to work out the way they thought it would.

Recently I came across a simple book called, “Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren’t” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. (Zondervan, 1995) This book was written in the era where in Psychology and Counseling Circles the rage was all about Co-Dependency Healing and Recovery Movements. I’m surprised I missed this book in my early counseling training years because its common sense really surprised me. Even though this book is written with emphasis on a foundational Christian perspective, it really hit home with some basic truths about good old-fashioned “character”. Simple assessments like what is good character versus bad character, interpersonal traits of unsafe people, and how to find safe people. Even better, how to BE a safe person in relationship and learn to develop our own good character.

Even though these things may be considered a “no brainer” thing to intuit for some people, it is amazing how often we can lose our own safety in relationships, choose unsafe ones, keep chasing false solutions or find ourselves isolated and eternally single. Or worse, we can end up not feeling much at all, in a numbed out aloneness of avoidance because we chose to shut down our hearts. Our faith in love itself could have been shattered.

It has been said that the opposite of love is not hate but of not feeling at all. Not needing  or desiring any human relationship at all. The danger in this is the gradual eating away of our humanness–and our spiritual essence. It is good to need one another in authentic relationship, and it is good to feel the pain if you are not having these basic human needs met. This is a sign that your own spiritual wisdom is still intact. So rejoice, sometimes pain is a great gift that ultimately teaches us wisdom.

It was a good review for me to validate what I already sensed were traits of unsafe people.(But was told often that I was being “negative” and perfectionistic, etc.) And also learning what the traits of safe, good people are. What I have come to realize as many may already know, is that our conditioning and belief systems sometimes counter what deep spiritual truths are crying out for us to listen to! Popular opinions, “positivist” New Age gurus, patriarchal value systems, mainstream media and even pop psychology and political trends are often false surface solutions that cannot penetrate why our relationships are not working.

The truth is, what people say or think they are, may not really be true. We must be able to discern deep within a person’s character and essence to truly perceive whether or not they are a safe person to relate to or consider any kind of partnership be it friends, lovers or business partners.

So what are the basic traits of an unsafe person versus a safe person?

According to the authors noted above they are:

  • Unsafe people are religious instead of spiritual.
  • Unsafe people are defensive instead of open to feedback.
  • Unsafe people are self-righteous instead of humble.
  • Unsafe people only apologize instead of changing their behavior.
  • Unsafe people avoid working on their problems instead of dealing with them.
  • Unsafe people demand trust, instead of earning it.
  • Unsafe people believe they are perfect instead of admitting their faults.
  • Unsafe people think “they have it all together” instead of admitting their weaknesses.
  • Unsafe people blame others instead of taking responsibility.
  • Unsafe people lie instead of telling the truth.
  • Unsafe people are stagnant instead of growing.

Interpersonal traits of unsafe people are behaviors like avoiding intimacy and closeness instead of connection. They are more concerned about “I” than “we”. They may resist freedom instead of encouraging it, they will flatter us instead of confronting us, they tend to condemn instead of forgive. They remain in parent/child relationships instead of relating as an equal. They are unstable over time instead of being consistent. Unsafe people relate in a way they end up having a negative and corrupting influence on us rather than a positive one. Unsafe people gossip, instead of maintaining confidentiality. And of course they lack true empathy. What defines bad from good is that bad is the unwillingness to admit wrongs, change behaviors or a desire to do good for self and others. Or even the desire to harm and get even instead of doing something more productive.

A safe relationship will draw us closer to our Source of God/Divine and spirituality. It will draw us closer to others and help us become more authentic and ethical. Safety means being able to be human with empathy for others, while having the spiritual grace that can flow through the divine qualities of humility in truth.

Safe people:

  • Can admit their weaknesses.
  • Are spiritual instead of religious.
  • Are open to feedback
  • Are humble
  • Can change behaviors and apologize, forgive.
  • Are willing to do their healing work, dealing with problems.
  • Take responsibility for their own issues
  • Can set boundaries with others who are not safe.
  • Trust appropriately
  • Tell the truth instead of lying to others or themselves.
  • They continue to grow in awareness and maturity.
  • Can be in this world but not of it and still maintain warmth and connection.
  • Don’t expect others to be perfect, yet maintain discerning self-protection and healthy boundaries
  • Can communicate effectively and know how to ask for what they want and need.

When we know we do not have these things, the first step is to be humble enough to ask for what we need. Or sometimes this means to confess your inability to need because you have become numb, arrogant or disconnected from our own heart and source of spirituality. It takes great courage to work through resistances and old patterns that do not work. Pay attention to your feelings and what evokes your hunger, especially when you encounter a person who does something to help awaken you to start feeling compassion and love again.

Remember too that our resistances to opening up and relating in a safe manner are designed to keep us from feeling the pain of old hurts. These defenses can masquerade in many ways such as addictions, compulsions, reactivity and triggering. But when you are with a safe person or group, you can move through these resistances, and allow a whole new way of being and relatedness to emerge. Safe relating can open us up to greater love and healing for ourselves. With sustained safe relationship, our capacity to love and relate authentically to others grows until we become strong in our core essence. Then we are more able to give and appreciate all that is truly good. Gratitude sets in, instead of selfish thoughts and behaviors. We are renewed with self-love, inspiration and motivation to relate more openly with greater generosity. We start to see miracles and wonders even in the small things. How love changes us and our world. And yet how hard it is to sustain it!

Spiritual Discernment and the Grace of God

I feel blessed to have met some extraordinary people throughout my journey  of researching anomalous trauma and my own healing work. It has not been easy and I have repeatedly been criticized to be “a negative ET/mind control researcher” or fear based, etc. I have been exposed to some pretty dark things, the nature of evil, black magic attacks and repetitive hurts in orchestrated relationships with “psychopaths and hosted” people. My own history of abuse and recovery has been difficult and I have learned too that it isn’t appropriate or safe to share openly with most people. It has backfired and this is why I’m writing this article.

Many already know the nature of this kind of backfiring from numerous articles and interviews I have written. Especially those about alien interference and psychopathic love relationships and the reality of targeted individuals and technologies. The more you awaken and shine your light upon others, the more attention you get from the dark side. And this is when the real truth starts to emerge, instead of the old belief systems we may have bought into are now shed for something else that is more open, realistic and compassionate. Like no, it ISNT ALL IN YOUR HEAD and psychopaths and evil entities really do exist regardless of “how positive” you are! And yes, love does matter!

Sometimes in our zeal to share our awakening process, we say more than we should about what we’ve discovered. It could be shocking to someone else’s view of reality who is less aware and then they, in their lack of awareness and cognitive dissonance will doubt you and make you “wrong”. Then tell others about your “problems” and so on. This really hurts when you discover someone you trusted is gossiping behind your back, poisening others’ views and beliefs about you which are not true. The list is endless really, but the point I’m making is that discernment of character and especially spiritual discernment, is a fine art of deepening ones awareness, sensitivity, patience and wisdom. It takes a humility and courageousness that cannot really be done alone, and yet it sometimes feels like we are all alone when we are going through “the dark night of the soul”.

If it had not been for some compassionate people in my own life, who truly cared for me, I would not have been able to get through the pain my own healing journey. I feel much gratitude for close family, friends and colleagues who could openly share and listen with compassion.  The Inner Empathy coursework (See http://www.innerempathy.com) really helped as well as learning compassionate communication skills or also known as NonViolent Communication(Marshall Rosenberg). Relationship experts like John Gray (Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus), Alison Armstrong (Queens  Code) and Harville Hendrix (Getting the Love You Want) helped with respect to understanding male/female relationship issues. It is such a blessing when you find friends who can understand where you are at, and share equally in a mutual friendship. And for all of my suffering through the “bad experiences”, it was this pain which actually led me to find the cream of the crop in terms of compassionate, spiritual friends. Those who have done or are dedicated to their own healing journey in ways that benefit others. Those who are humble and live the truth in their lives, and are there to encourage, support and validate things that are true, even when the “popular opinion” in my line of research claims to know the truth but do not live it authentically.

The majority of people do not really want to know the truth or are dedicated to a healing journey of greater awareness and freedom. I know this sounds cliche but “by their relationships and hearts, you will know them.”

So how did spiritual discernment come about for me? I can only tell you that it is a gradual process of deepening awareness, sensitivity of perception and willingness to do what would benefit others as well. It’s about being willing to understand the truth of any particular situation or person despite personal desires or projections. It is also about knowing the difference between the sensitivity due to triggered emotional reactions of unhealed wounds, versus true perception in a more neutral place. It is about humility and the desire to love even when I feel alone and rejected. It is also about loving myself enough to set boundaries from unsafe people and situations. Standing my ground without being “mean” because I listened to my feelings in my heart and not someone else’s advice or another’s guru or religion. It is also about reaching out and asking for what you want and need, even though you may not get it.

It is a refinement process that starts with doing something about the pain that really hurts. Doing the healing work of facing my own emotional devastation, defenses, patterns, and unhealthy habits with someone who REALLY CARED and had compassion. This led to a greater awareness of feelings, that at first were awful, painful and devastating. Shocking. Then it moved from shock, rage, anger, negativity, on to grief, sadness and only then to compassion. The compassion led me up to a lighter place where I could sense the innate goodness in others, opening up gratitude, forgiveness, love and joy. It also allowed for the recognition when these good qualities and character were not present in others, and how to gracefully set appropriate boundaries.

Instead of taking years, months or weeks to learn about or become aware of something, it takes less time now. So now instead of falling into the pit of a bad situation or relationship, I can perceive more quickly how this person “feels” and intuition of the heart opens up. But I could not have done this alone, without real connection, friendship and support of good people. And yes, I have lost a few “friends” in the process but it ultimately opened to connecting and finding new better friendships.

The truth is good and evil does exist. And you must choose what you want to align with. When you make that choice with the totality of your being, is when the real journey begins.

 

Inner Empathy Process Work

This is an update on the Anomalous Trauma and Embody U Groups that were discussed in the previous posting for Anomalous Trauma Group Support. We at RISE Multiversity decided to wait until the launching of our first Round Table Discussion Forum, which is now set for Sunday, May 17, 2014, 5 pm Eastern Time, before setting dates and times for Embody U groups. However, we did come to an agreement that a time frame for the Anomalous Trauma group will most likely be held on a Monday or Thursday evening from 6-8 pm, and possibly another group for a weekend afternoon time slot if we have more than one group.

For now I would  like to share what I have learned from Inner Empathy in my own experience as well as its precursor, Compassionate Communication.

Inner Empathy as I learned it from Jerry Donoghue of Asheville, NC

Inner Empathy is  derived from Non-Violent Communication or Compassionate Communication.(Marshall Rosenberg)

NVC, to summarize is based on four components:

  • Observations
  • Feelings
  • Needs
  • Requests

These four aspects are important to define clearly for an individual in communication with another person in relationship when wanting to communicate effectively and with compassion. At the root of all feelings are core needs, which may or may not have been met, and the reason for the arising feeling(s). These feelings, if they are based on unmet needs, and if incurred traumatically, may result in beliefs or judgements about life and people which are erroneous. These “false beliefs”  function primarily on a subconscious level, and are the driving force which patterns the person’s life and how they create their life. (Positive feelings or even neutral ones based on needs which are met, result in a balanced truthful view of reality, life and do not compete or create conflict within oneself or with others.)

These unconscious beliefs, feelings and core human needs which have not been met are then the inner conflict which are the basis of competing unconscious needs that get in the way of integration and wholeness. One set of needs is held subconsciously and be the basis of behaviors which are acted out, despite holding another set of consciously held beliefs, feelings and needs.

Inner Empathy is a way to communicate with the inner parts of oneself, by being guided by a listener who supports the inner inquiry process of helping the “supported” person discover deep feelings and needs which tend to lurk in the shadow realms of ones consciousness.

Inner Empathy can view the psyche as a system of parts that are held in awareness. To simplify, there are three basic types of parts:

Manager Parts: When we experientially connect with these protective parts, in addition to whatever these parts are protecting, these parts are no longer necessary in their extreme form and can be integrated in the system as allies in practical life matters. These parts are the ones that arrange and run daily life in such a way as to prevent the painful exiled feelings from emerging.

Firefighter Protective Parts: When we experientially connect with these protective parts, in addition to connecting to whatever they are protecting, these parts are no longer necessary in their extreme form and may rise again out of habit until the habit changes. Long time additions can fall away without much effort. These parts are the ones that urgently “take over” the system to extinguish or soothe any painful exile feelings that begin to or have surfaced.

Exiled, Disowned or Vulnerable Parts: These are the core parts representing the nitty gritty of the real, core-self issues. When we experientially connect with the pain, trapped feelings, unmet needs, self-judgements, beliefs and burdens of the core exiled (or dissociated, repressed) parts, something magical happens. This deep connection plays out for each person in different ways and protective parts seem to be less overprotective and defensive. Effortless self-corrections occur.

To get to this place of authentic core-self, we may go through many layers of defenses and levels of awareness,  uncovering our triggers, and reactions to these triggers. These reactions and feelings eventually ease off into more equanimity within an ever expanding spacious, compassionate awareness and presence. The manager and firefighter parts can also be viewed as defenses one may act out to protect vulnerable feelings and needs which are still stuck in a time warp of initial trauma. Some people have many layers of defenses, and oftentimes in the inner inquiry process many protective parts may come out simultaneously, acting out a story or drama that may play out on more on a mental level or cycle in anger before the real gut wrenching feelings finally surface.

When we can be fully authentic, and present within our own self, we are more able to extend that compassionate presence for others to explore their own authentic self. This happens through the heart.

In the beginning of an Inner Empathy Process of Authentic Self Discovery, one may have a totality of 4 basic aspects of being that can be represented as:

  • Manager Parts
  • Firefighter Parts
  • Exiled, Disowned and Vulnerable Parts
  • Empathetic Awareness

Where the manager, firefighter and disowned parts may carry a major portion of the personality. As we process the core feelings and unmet needs with the compassionate presence of our witnessing self, and with others in a supportive role, our own sense of self grows into becoming a greater percentage of Empathetic Awareness, and less identified with the other manager, firefighter or victim parts sill holding strong feelings and unmet needs. A huge part of not getting stuck in unpleasant feelings is to not identify with the feelings as oneself, but instead identify with the compassionate awareness that is aware of these feelings, which do eventually pass.

More can be found about Inner Empathy at:  http://www.innerempathy.com/

I believe that cultivating a basic foundation of Inner Empathy and practice of the Non Violent Communication (NVC)  interpersonal communication skills, one can then be at a more favorable place to build strong community.

(Reference: Inner Empathy Workbook by Jerry Donoghue, ISBN 978-1-61658-152-7)

The Basic, Ethical Tenets of Non-violent Communication of Compassionate Communication Consciousness:

  •  living under the assumption that we are all one, experiencing no separation, unitive consciousness
  • viewing the world through the lens of needs based consciousness instead of right/wrong or good/bad consciousness
  • fostering heart-to-heart connections
  • holding needs lightly in a way where they are to “have to have” (demanding and pushy)
  • holding the intention of wanting to cultivate a quality of connection where we value everyone’s needs and trust they all can be met
  • making true requests (not demands)
  • deriving strategies from this space of mutual consideration of each other’s needs
  • inspiring ourselves to want to contribute to other’s  needs out of a sense of love and caring instead of our of a sense of guilt or shame, or being motivated by demand, duty or obligation

 

Anomalous Trauma Group Support and Process Work

I want to share a bit about what a colleague and I are planning for support groups for Anomalous Trauma experiencers.These may extend to other personal growth and “awakening from the Matrix” issues as well. Our plan to begin such groups is within the next month and beyond. We are calling these support groups Embody U Groups, and they will also become a part of RISE Multiversity.

(See http://www.RiseMutiversity.org)

Many years ago while living in Southern California, I conducted open discussion and support groups for people who experienced UFO encounters, alien abductions, milabs and related mind control and spirituality issues. I had learned early on that it was much more fruitful to facilitate such groups with a strong focus on empathic support and honest sharing, as opposed to intellectualizing belief systems, discussion and debate. (However, discussion Roundtable events will be offered through RISE Multiversity soon), I knew that if any real therapeutic work could be done, it would have to be structured with an authentic heart-centered approach, where we can get to the root issues common to human reactions to anomalous trauma. And, to do this while providing safety and confidentiality within a professional framework, as opposed to the often circus-like, exploitative atmosphere of UFO/paranormal/conspiracy related venues and conferences.

Today, there is a strong need for group connection and support in an empathic therapeutic environment. I am specifically emphasizing this need for those who have “awakened” to the reality that our world is not what the “mainstream matrix constructs” have purported it to be, and so while groups in person may be available for “normal matrix belief systems/issues, this is not really widely available except through online support networks and forums that have evolved out of the alternative media community. Ideally, a growth oriented group is best done in person where real human connection and relationship can be established in safety and trust, so that open sharing on deep emotional levels can be achieved and supported. But in today’s world, where there are people scattered across the globe, it is inconvenient to meet in person for group support on a regular basis.

Nowadays we are employing internet videoconferencing technology to conduct consultations, hypnotherapy sessions, and other forms of support to meet these needs for a global population. Systems such as FUZEBox, CiscoWebEx and all manner of webinar and support forums are available now, but none that I know of are actually doing support groups for anomalous trauma and “matrix awakening” related issues.

What is done in person, can also be done within a videoconferencing sharing format with several people within a small group of maybe 10 or less. While it may not be ideal, alot can be done to meet the increasing demands and need for authentic human connection in a safe online environment.

Empathic support forums can offer things like reflective listening, no-crosstalk rules, staying heart and emotion centered with group facilitation so that root feelings and needs can be realized for the person sharing. In this way the person sharing can veer away from “mental spinning in the story” and quickly reach core issue resolution. Compassionate presence is offered by the group and also realized within the client for her/himself at the same time. This basic method is derived from the practice of Compassionate Communication Skills and Inner Empathy.

Other therapeutic modes such as or shadow work can be employed for emotional process and parts integration. My colleague, Seinna Lea, (M.A. Psychology) is a well-known radio host of  Illuminating the Shadowland  on TFRN. She also author of the book, Stealing the Moon, that looks at the effect of the dominator culture on archetypal realms we all carry. Sienna will be co-facilitating the Embody U Support group. Her expertise is in helping people identify the shadow aspects of their psyche, breaking contracts with the artificial constructs and integrating sub-personalities and feeling states that habituate our behavior and inform our choices. She brings her background of psychodrama to help move obsolete behaviors through emotional quantum intelligence of her group work.

These methods help deepen ones spiritual/soul connection to God/Source where true insight and compassion awakens within the individual. With these practices, the witnessing aspect of ones spacious, compassionate presence expands until it becomes fully embodied, expanding ones consciousness.

In addition to my basic empathic support skills, (MA in Counseling Psychology and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist) I also am knowledgable in a plethora of issues that arise in life, such as addictions, adult children of alcoholics issues, narcisscistic abuse, mind control, relationship dynamics and counseling, bereavement and grief work, and transpersonal “human potential growth” exercises. I often employ relaxation and hypnotherapeutic work in my private sessions as well as the liberation methods created by Dr. Corrado Malanga of Italy for eliminating alien interference issues.

In a nutshell, these methods can be incorporated in group and individual personal growth work:

 

  • Reflective listening and sharing: Empathic Support
  • Compassionate Communication or Non-Violent Communication Skills
  • Inner Empathy and Parts Integration
  • Insight oriented psychodynamics and self-inquiry
  • Relationship issues and counseling
  • Hypnotherapy
  • Transpersonal/Spirituality Exercises such as meditation, lucid dreaming practices, body/mind exercises like yoga and Qi Gong*

*While I know spirituality is very important, I do not propose any particular religion, deity or belief system upon anyone. My education spans the scientific from Biochemistry to Oriental Medicine and yoga asana, Chi Gong, to Counseling and Hypnotherapy. I have found that it is more effective to simplify methods that connect people to their hearts, bodies and souls with less rather than “more”.

Surrender, Self-Respect and Common Sense

In the last blog post, Twin Flames or Love Bite: Genuine Love Connection versus Archontic Manipulation? (See http://evelorgen.com/wp/category/articles/alien-love-bite-related/)  the question of surrender and self-respect has come to light. I felt this needed an elaboration based on what was shared by an anonymous experiencer of a “Dark Side of Cupid” love relationship, that she assumed was her Twin Flame Soul Mate.

This is the last few paragraphs from “V” who shared her story of her “Twin Flame” love connection that she later believed to be a manipulation from “paranormal interferences” boosted by many New Age teachers, psychics and social conditioning. I will comment afterwards on the theme of the necessity of discernment, self-respect and surrender.

“My true inner guide or higher self has told me that my only mission here is to learn, grow, experience and share. Even learn from these soul connections and even learn of the deceptions of the archons. This is a huge learning school. And that we all get to choose what we want romantically, either a soul connection who is able to heal to give us the love and respect we deserve, or another connection who comes when we have learnt our lessons and took control over our lives. Either to continue a path single and happy to be single because we do not need someone else to be happy.

Surrender is the key to all this, as well as self empowerment, as in fact, the Light is INFORMATION. The more informed about deception, manipulation and control, the more free we become and the more connected to the prime Creator, or to source.”

Recently, the theme of surrender “to the light”  has arisen as the antidote to the cure and pain of the emotional suffering endured when one is in a “love bite” type of relationship.  In a “love bite” connection it is suspected that there is a type of interdimensional or paranormal interference, fueling an unhealthy drama of ecstatic highs and crashing lows, and a seeming endless unconsummated “drama”. The question of energy vampirism is also relevent, if indeed a person you have/had a powerful love connection with, is a host to some kind of attached entity, mind parasites, or simply a narcissistic kind of person. The above suggestion to surrender to highest unconditional love should be met with the caveat that self-respect is a large part of surrendering appropriately, when it comes to powerful love connections with another person. Surrendering to loving this person with a healthy sense of detachment, that is.

I think the key point here, is to remember not to “cast pearls before swine”. Especially if you suspect your love connection to be influenced in a malign way.

I also want to point out that there is a false light programming going on in many New Age circles, and this needs to be distinguished from the true “Organic Light”. Highest wisdom is a rare treasure, and I’m certain that it involves a degree of self-respect for the person who chooses to surrender without compromising their emotional, mental and spiritual well being. Many of us make sacrifices for the ones we love, and that is noble. But what I am seeing with so many cases of influenced love connections, is a kind of “spell” that comes over the person. For those who have reported this to me, the spell is made more powerful by a kind of psychic energetic linking that takes place in such a way, it activates certain energy centers like the solar plexus or the entire kundalini throughout the body. The person’s shakti is aroused and amplified, putting them in a state of bliss and ofentimes conflict all at the same time. The reason why these kinds of love connections are so hard to detach from is due to the addiction to the blissful sensations of the shakti, and the deep heart connection that can take place, regardless if the person you are with are normally “your type”. This is the paradox of the “love bite”, and “dark side of Cupid” relationships.

I do want to point out that the existence  of shakti energy or kundalini arousal is not bad in and of itself. It is the predatory beings or influences which “play the couple” like a pair of puppets while feeding on the psychic energy. The whole solution would be to then be able to clear oneself and ones partner from the predatory disruptive influences, so that the sacred love connection can be restored and nurtured. It also goes to say that such ‘influences” can be unresolved issues and conflicts within either partner and these weaknesses are exploited by predatory beings. I say, first get rid of the predatory beings and work on healing the issues that can make one vulnerable to such influences. Or do both at the same time if possible.

As I’ve elaborated on in my Dark Side of Cupid book, the only way one of these connections can truly thrive and survive is if both partners are aware enough of their own issues and shadow elements to be willing to work through these issues with transparency for the greater goal of sacred love. Can it work? Yes, I believe it can if both persons are willing, resilient and dedicated for a greater purpose. And this greater purpose must include self-respect and the knowledge that predatory beings and influences do exist, and to never lose ones discernment when one is presented with issues that compromise integrity and self-respect. Impeccability is most important. However, this is also a potentially troublesome goal if it’s unrealistic.  If we overvalue ones “good self” while making one’s other “bad/weak side” wrong or evil, we can fall into the unhealthy dynamics of the divided self. This concept is brought out succinctly in the book review of “The Guru Papers: Mask of Authoritarian Power” by Charles D. on Joel Kramer and Diana Alstad’s 1993 book. See http://lifering.org/2012/12/book-review-the-guru-papers-masks-of-authoritarian-power/

Essentially, many belief systems, especially religions and cults–do great damage to people by not taking into consideration basic human feelings and needs and tend to over emphasize a “divine self”. You know the scripture, “Be ye perfect as your Father in heaven is perfect”. I think this sets one up for ultimate failure and denial of some really basic human needs. This encourages the person to suppress their “bad side/weaknesses” to such a degree that they can fall into delusion, as well as exacerbate compulsive-addictive behaviors.

Recently, through a series of coincidences, the theme of surrender, self-respect and mind control has come up. Surrendering to unconditional love/light has arisen as the solution, in the previous blogpost regarding “Twin Flames”. I would add to this the basic foundation of wisdom and self-respect. This is difficult when one is “so in love” with a person or even a belief system or cult, where ones critical reasoning and sense of self dissolves away with dangerous consequences. I came across a story from 2012 about a Buddhist community where, in retreat some questionable and dangerous activities occurred– with lethal consequences. In  “Psychosis, Stabbing, Secrecy & Death at a Neo-Buddhist University in Arizona (http://www.elephantjournal.com/2012/05/psychosis-stabbing-secrecy-and-death-at-a-neo-buddhist-university-in-arizona/comment-page-2/#idc-cover) I was shocked to discover that I had actually met these people not long ago in my own Buddhist spiritual path. It showed what can happen when secrecy and obeying cult rules overrides ones common sense. A harmful condition I’ve observed in some spiritual cults is isolation from human interconnectedness, relationship and emotional support. There needs to be substantial emotional support when a spiritual practitioner enters tantric practice. When secrecy–or indifference for that matter—overrides these basic human needs, trouble is sure to follow.

There is a real danger in many cult-like spiritual groups and in some forms of tantric practice, in particular. I don’t want to make it sound like I am criticizing all spiritual groups, beliefs or tantric practices as corrupt, but I do think it deserves open and transparent discussion. The discussion needs to be education on mind control, predation, narcissistic and exploitative behaviors, emotional intelligence and human psychology. Basic human feelings and the needs beneath those feelings should never be marginalized or made “wrong”. Or in many religious patriarchal systems and even New Age ways of thinking, one is branded as “spiritually retarded”.  Perhaps what we need now more than ever is a true understanding of what being human really means, and to be able to make the distinction based on authentic experience–what humane is as opposed to Archontic, mind-parasite belief systems.

The Openseti.org web site has a section dedicated to Gnosticism, Archons/Greys, the Controller Agenda and the Djinn. This is an insightful discussion which also excerpts much of the work of John Lash and key points on who the Archons are and what their agenda is with humanity. See Gerry Zeitlin web site: http://openseti.org/GnosticA.html . This web page also contains one of the earlier interviews with Karmoplis.be and JohnLash from 2005:

http://evelorgen.com/wp/articles/spiritual-warfare-and-the-human-soul/john-lash-interview/

In a future article, I will touch upon the various reports, experiences and therapeutic processes of those who have undergone “alien interferences”, mind parasites and predatory, psychic vampire relationships. I want to thoroughly examine the different ways in which people perceive these issues and the modes of therapy, such as empathic support, inner empathy and parts integration, regressive hypnosis, hypnotherapeutic modes of guided visualization using Malanga’s liberation techniques and shamanic practices., such as Holographic Kinetics.